You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly
Composer(s): Lola Jean Dillon; L.E. White
Performer(s): Loretta Lynn & Conway Twitty
and multiple other artists



Conway:
Well, you're the reason I'm ridin' around on big-capped tires

Loretta:
And you're the reason I'm hangin' our clothes outside on wires

Both:
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Oh, but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But I love you just the same

Conway:
Well, you're the reason I changed to beer from soda pop

Loretta:
And you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop

Both:
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Oh, but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But I love you just the same

Both:
I guess that we won't ever have everything we need
'Cause when we get ahead, it's got a double mouth to feed

Loretta:
And that's the reason my good looks, and my figure is gone

Conway:
And that's the reason that I ain't got no hair to comb

Both:
And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'
Oh, but looks ain't everything
And money ain't everything
But I love you just the same

Loretta: Conway, why in the devil don't you go and shave, and put on a clean pair of pants?

Conway: But Loretta, look at yourself 
I wish you'd take them curlers outta your hair and go put on a little make-up and get outta that housecoat before supper

Loretta: Well let me tell you somethin' Conway 
Considering everything that I went through today, I look like a movie star

Conway: Yeah, Ruth Buzzi

Loretta: Thank you

Conway: Besides that, all of our kids took after your part of the family anyways

Loretta: Oh, they did, huh? What about the ones that's bald?

Conway: Well, I guess you might say they took after me