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I’m thinking old age regret is going to suck.  In order to avoid it, I find it useful to put myself on my death bed and imagine how I will feel.  It’s easy to piss your precious life minutes away when you are young, or even when your not so young, but it is sometimes helpful to realize at some point you are done and will get none of them back.

Some of these thoughts represent my personal experience but many do not; they are just observations of the habits of others.  Some of these may offend you, but don’t take it that way.  What’s good for you may not be good for others.  In the end, I hope they stimulate you to think a little about what you are doing with your precious life minutes.  These are not meant to make you feel good; they are meant to make you think.

1. Lying on my death bed, I will be so happy I spent my life compromising with my partner.  When they left me and took half my money after years of letting them tell me what to do, I thought “Wow, that was really worth it.”
2. Lying on my death bed, I probably won’t remember anything from the tens of thousands of hours I spent watching TV and surfing the internet during my life.
3. Lying on my death bed, I probably won’t get to see my friends and family. My death room will be likely be filled to overflowing with the grateful executives from the corporation where I slaved away my entire career.
4. Lying on my death bed, I’ll be thinking “It sure was good I saved so much money for a rainy day.”  Then I’ll turn my head and notice it is raining outside.
5. Lying on my death bed, I will be so happy that I spent endless hours searching for coupons so I could win the “be frugal” contest.  I felt so good in the checkout line saving my pennies.  That was better than talking a walk in the sun or spending quality time with friends and family.
6. When I get really old I will probably fall down and break my hip. I won’t have one of those “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” devices. I’ll be really mad that I didn’t go see the mountain gorillas in Rwanda while I could still walk; before I fell down and died.
7. Lying on my death bed, I’ll be so glad I spent half my life being angry at the government, big corporations, my stupid neighbors, idiot drivers, my ungrateful family, the communists, the liberals, the illegal aliens, and everyone else who is ruining my life.  I couldn’t do anything about any of it, but at least I died a bitter old unhappy man.  That will show them.
8. Lying on my death bed, I’ll be thinking it was so worth it to eat myself into obesity and sit myself into physical atrophy.  Who wants to play with the their grandchildren on the beach when they are 80?  It was much better having a nurse push me over to the window in my wheelchair.
9. Lying on my death bed, I’ll be so happy I spent my life working my ass off so I could buy houses, cars, big screen TV’s, clothes, furniture, and all the other fine things in life.  Oh the memories of those experiences.  Parking my fancy car in the garage of my fancy house was like the highlight of my life.  Sometimes I would just sit in the car and hug the steering wheel.  I felt so good to have someone to hold onto.
10. Lying on my death bed, I’ll be grateful I lived life on my own terms and not according to the dictates of others.  I’ll be thinking that in some way parts of me will live on in the lives of others I have touched.  I’ll be happy that I took each day as it arrived, neither reliving the past or fretting about the future.  Life was one hell of a ride and I enjoyed just about all of it.  No regrets.