Verdriet

No Life Aint
Always what I wish
But in this big ocean
I am but one tiny fish

Some days are hard
other days are even harder
but the path upon which I walk
I pray can only get better

In You I have to trust
But some days I do question
But it is to You I look
as my only guiding beacon

There are days
full of confusion
as I try to sort
thru each illusion

Days when my heart is heavy
Yet my faith is steadfast
I drink Your word
as my only breakfast

Yet here I sit
with worry and confusion
And wrongly question
what You place on my children

In my desperation
when my fist at you I shake
I pray it is my heart you see
and know how bad it aches

But I know in my heart's depths
that as I walked life's road
When reflecting back
It is You that has carried my load.

To borrow a lyric from the song
'No Life Aint Always Beautiful
but I know I'll be fine
Hey Life Aint Always Beautiful
But Its a Beautiful Ride'

The you my heart came to know
I refuse to lose sight
The joy you gave
took the dark into light

The lonely times filled
The laughter and your dream we shared
Your soul to me
that was so openly bared

The reflection I gaze upon
does not reveal the flaw
I search and search
and yet can not see what you saw

Is what I give
too much
or is it I am not
of the right stuff

To change who I am
that path I can not trod
I am who I am
a creation of God

So I walk my path
as always before
for who knows for me
what God has in store

With head held high
this road of life I climb
With God as my guide
I search for my Place In Time

Many times I have been asked
what I need of love
You mean the kind that is Angel blessed
and sent from above?

Well this is not one
I need to ponder
for deep in my heart
there is no wonder

To be met at the door
with a tender sweet kiss
You know the kind
that brings heavenly bliss

That warm loving arm
in the cold of nite
that draws me close
and holds me tight

That strong shoulder
for me to lean upon
but wise enough to know
when I need to be alone

That joyful laughter
in my memory to burn
the one that sees me thru
when life's ocean begins to churn

The tender loving eyes
that will hold me in trance
well into the years
when it becomes difficult to dance

I want a love
to have and to hold
I want a love
that has yet to be told

Oh just love me
like nobody's loved me ....

On September 11, 2001
we had the blood
of 5,727 innocent lives
shed upon American soil
all in the name of hate..



They Will All Be
In Our Hearts Forever



It is a beautiful sun filled morning
yet I have an unexplained sense of
evil and sadness around me.
The city is awake as travelers
make their way to work and
parents getting their children to school.
I look across at Time Square
and notice the time is 8:45am
and thinking you better hurry
or you will be late for work.

Suddenly I hear an explosion.
I look in the direction of the sound
and see smoke coming from the
North Tower of the World Trade Center.
An airplane has crashed into it's side.

There is mass confusion.
Police and Fire Fighters are rushing into
the Tower to help the people exit to safety.
Oh Dear Lord people are jumping
out of the windows and falling to
the street below. What is this hell
that has been cast upon us?

People stare in shock and disbelief
now as a second plane flies directly
into the South Tower.
Looking back at Time Square
I see the time now is 9:03 am.
The streets are littered with paper
and debris from the offices in the two Towers.
It's now 10:05am and people
are now running from that direction
as I witness the the South Tower
crumbling to the street below.
Trapping thousands ...
Moms and Dads,
Sisters and Brothers,
Sons and Daughters.

Why?

Oh the dust,
the smoke,
the flying debris is so thick
you can see nothing.
It is all but impossible to breathe.
The pain of what has happened is so
great you can feel nothing else.

It is 9:43 am there are reports
of another plane flying into the Pentagon
in Washington D.C.
I don't understand.
What is happening?
Who could wish such horrid wishes
or even entertain such unthinkable thoughts.
Why is this happening in a country
that represents Freedom and
welcomes strangers from
any land to pursue a better life?

A life of Freedom,
in my America?

I try to reason
when I know deep inside there is none.
I hear the words echoing in the air 'Lets Roll'.
It is now 10:10 am and yet another report
of a hijacked plane crashing
in Summerset County in Pennsylvania

It is now 10:28 as I witness the
North Tower tumbling to join her sister
that already lay upon the street below
I look across at the Lady of the city.
Even though the air is thick
and visibility is poor,
I see something glistening
on her cheek in the last few remaining rays
of the morning sun.

It is but one lone tear.

She stands upon the stage
a radiant beauty in the spotlight
Her elegant costume barely covering
Yet it is only here she feels all is right

For it is this nite
she can be who she wishes to be
and spread her wings wide
and soar the heavens so free

The beat of her heart quickens
as the music begins and possesses her body
She feels the chains breaking free
for when she dances there is no boundary

Her body moves
as gentle as a ripple upon a lake
with burning men wishing to ride
just once in her wake

But she does not dance
for any other pleasure than her own
This nite she stands as one upon the stage
where her spirit is set free and reborn

Her dance of liberation
is like nothing else you will ever see
It's like that of a beautiful butterfly
struggling to be set free

Looking thru this rain speckled window
With no purpose or reason
Wondering why
it never seems to be my season

I have so much love to give
I stand strong and stable
Yet my heart is always
just left upon the table

What is the great flaw
that I just can't seem to see
voiding me from the taste of love
that will finally set me free

Life could be so easy
if my heart you would only see
Just open up yours
and trust in me

Are those rain drops I see
or tears from my heart
why can't I ever see
the end from the start

Your heart I would treasure
Your laughter I cast on the wind
If you could only love me
as more than just a friend.