Maxwell's Silver Hammer
Composer(s): John Lennon / Paul McCartney)
Originally performed by: The Beatles
Covered by various other artists



Joan was quizzical, studied pataphysical
science in her home
late nights all alone with a test tube oh oh oh oh
Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine
calls her on the phone
can I take you out to the pictures Joan
but as she's getting ready to go
a knock comes on her door

chorus

Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon her head
bang bang maxwells silver hammer made sure that she was dead

Back at school again, Maxwell plays the fool again
teacher gets annoyed
wishing to avoid an unpleasant scene
she tells Max to stay when the class has gone away
so he waits behind
writing 50 times I must not be so oh oh oh
but when she turns her back on the boy
he creeps up from behind

chorus

PC 31, said we caught a dirty one
Maxwell stands alone
painting testimonial pictures oh oh oh oh
Rose and Valerie, sreaming from the gallery
say he must go free {Maxwell must go free}
the judge does not agree and he tells them so oh oh oh
but as the words are leaving his lips
a noise comes from behind

chorus {with he, substituted for her}

Old Shep
Composer(s): Red Foley; Willis Arthur
Performer(s): Red Foley;
and various other artists



When I was a lad and Old Shep was a pup
O'er hills and meadows we'd stray
Just a boy and his dog, we were both full of fun
We grew up together that way

I remember the time at the old swimmin' hole
When I would've drowned beyond doubt
Shep was right there, to the rescue he came
He jumped in and helped pulled me out

So the years fed along and at last he grew old
His eyesight was fast growin' dim
Then one day the doctor looked at me and said
"I can't do no more for him, Jim"

With a hand that was trembling I picked up my gun
I aimed it at Shep's faithful head
I just couldn't do it, I wanted to run
And I wished that they'd shoot me instead

I went to his side and I sat on the ground
He laid his head on my knee
I stroked the best pal that a man ever found
I cried so I scarcely could see

Old Sheppie he knew he was going to go
For he reached out and licked at my hand
He looked up at me, just as much as to say
"We're parting, but you understand"

Now Old Shep is gone where the good doggies go
And no more with Old Shep will I roam
But if dogs have a heaven, there's one thing I know
Old Shep has a wonderful home

Maxine
Composer(s): Donald Fagen
Performer(s): Donald Fagen;
Mark Murphy; Anthony Wilson



Some say that you're reckless
They say we're much too young
Tell us to stop before we've begun
We've got to hold out till graduation
Try to hang on Maxine

While the world is sleeping
We meet at Lincolon Mall
Talk about life the meaning of it all
Try to make sense of the suburban sprawl 
Try to hang on Maxine

Mexico City is like another world 
Nice this year they say
You'll my senorita
In jeans and pearls
But first let's get off this high way
(off this high way)

We'll move back to Manhattan
And fill the place with friends
Drive to the coast and drive right back again
One day we'll wake up make love but till then
Try to hang on Maxine

Old Rivers
Composer(s): Cliff Crofford
Performer(s): Walter Brennan; David Briggs; 
Jimmy Dean; Dave Dudley; Marvin Rainwater



How old was I when I first seen old Rivers?
I can't remember when he weren't around
Well, that old fellow did a heap of work
Spent his whole life walking plowed ground

He had a one-room shack not far from us
And well, we was about as poor as him
He had one old mule he called Midnight
And I'd trailed along after them

He used to plow them rows straight and deep
And I'd come along near behind
A-bustin' up clods with my own bare feet
Old Rivers was a friend of mine

That sun'd get high and that mule would work
Till old Rivers'd say, ''Whoa!''
He'd wipe his brow, lean back on the reins
And talk about a place he was gonna go

Chorus:
He'd say, one of these days
I'm gonna climb that mountain
Walk up there amoung the clouds
Where the cotton's high
And the corn's a-growin'
And there ain't no fields to plow

--- Instrumental ---

I got a letter today from the folks back home and
They're all fine and crops is dry
Down at the end my mama said, ''Son
You know old Rivers died''

Just sittin' here now on this new-plowed earth
Trying to find me a little shade
With the sun beating down 'cross the field I see
That mule, old Rivers and me

Chorus:
Now, one of these days
I'm gonna climb that mountain
Walk up there amoung the clouds
Where the cotton's high
And the corn's a-growin'
And there ain't no fields to plow

With the sun beating down 'cross the field I see
That mule, old Rivers and me...

Maxim's
Composer(s): Serge Gainsbourg
Performer(s): Serge Gainsbourg
and various other artists



Ah! baiser la main d'une femme du monde
Et m'écorcher les lèvres à ses diamants
Et puis dans la Jaguar
Brûler son léopard
Avec une cigarette anglaise
Et s'envoyer des dry au Gordon
Et des Pimm's
Number one
Avant que de filer chez Maxim's
Grand seigneur
Dix sacs au chasseur

Enfin
Poser
Ma pelle
Et chauffer
Ma gamelle

Old Riders In The Grandstand
Performer(s): Slim Dusty



I'm seated in the grandstand at a big-time rodeo
With my walking stick beside me
as I watch the scene below
There are youngon's ridin' outlaws as I did when young and free
And I wonder are there many old ex-riders here like me

The horses they are ridin' couldn't buck to save their hide
Oh I'd like to see these youngon's on the ones I used to ride
I've used the likes of spinifex for a night horse on the run
And brahma bulls like Wadgerra, we rode them just for fun

The saddles they are using are designed to hold you in
And the halter shanks are silky so as not to hurt your skin
We rode in flattened  ?Poleans?  in the days of long ago
And could have rolled a smoke aboard the likes of Curio

The steers they use for doggin' are no bigger than a calf
And the time they take to throw them make us old timers laugh
We used to scrub big Mickey's twice the size in cattle yards
Oh but that was many years ago way back when times were hard

These youngon's dress so lairy in their fancy cowboy suits
We used to ride in moleskins and a pair of Bluecha boots
But all our glory's vanished, we're forgotten men, it seems
Old riders in the grandstand alone with all our dreams

Maximillian Mouse
Composer(s): Rolf Harris
Performer(s): Rolf Harris



I am a mouse
called Maximillian Mouse
And I live in my Maximillian...Mouse house
I'm very well bred
I'm pure Castillian mouse
And I come from a long long long long long long line of
Castillian mouses

Ole!

But it always has been perilous
Crossing the arena to the supermarkets
Where I buy my cheese..

It's regularly perilous
When I think of bull-fights
There's a quaking in my knees

I've always had
A taste for colourful things
And this day I was wearing my red cortocaportocontrezbutonizonalado
e sulapa ancocobosiasacadelamanorajo et
plato del toros dressing gown

I must confess I've been in gullible rings
For the bull, when he saw what I wore
Came rushing at me

Ol...
(clear throat)
Ole.

But if you think that because I am small I am puny
You are wrong
I stood my ground
I did not move
I could not move

The picador's horse was standing on my tail
So swiftly I turned and I nipped him in the fetlocks
He was most embarrassed
But for the moment I was free

I pirouette to safety and the bull thunders past me
brrrah
Then, I hear the trumpet call for the death
I have resolved to dispatch Senor Toros with the classic pass of the dead one
The crowd screamed "No, no!" but
I plant my feet firmly, one (stamp), and two (stamp)

(quietly)
Three (stamp), four (stamp)

Then, from ten yards away I called the bull to me
Toros!
He comes rushing towards me!

(bang, crash)

(Smugly)
I tripped him...

I am a mouse
called Maximillian Mouse
And I live in my Maximillian...Mouse house

I'm very well bred
I'm pure Castillian mouse
And I come from a long long long long long long line of
Bull-fighting mouses

Ole!

Old Rattler
(Traditional)
Performer(s): Grandpa Jones;
and various other artists



Old Rattler was a good old dog
As blind as he could be
Ev'ry night 'bout supper time 
I believe that dog could see

Refrain:
Here! Rattler!
Here! Here!
Here! Rattler! Here!
Call old Rattler from the barn
Here! Rattler! Here!

Old Rattler tree'd the other night
And I tho't he'd tree'd a 'coon
When I come to find out
He was barkin' at the moon

Refrain:

Well, grandma had a yeller hen
We set her as you know
We set her on three buzzard eggs
And hatched out one old crow

Refrain:

Grandpa had a muley cow
She was muley when she's born
It took a jaybird forty year
To fly from horn to horn

Refrain:

Now if I had a needle and thread
As fine as I could sew
I'd sew my sweetheart to my back
And down the road I'd go

Refrain:

Old Rattler was a smart old dog
Even tho' he was blind
He wouldn't hurt one single thing
Tho' he was very fine

One night I saw a big fat 'coon
Climb up in a tree
I called old Rattler right away
To get 'im down fer me

But Rattler wouldn't do it
Because he liked that 'coon
I saw them walkin' paw in paw
Later by the light of the moon

Refrain:

Now old Rattler's dead and gone
Like all good dogs do
You better not act a dog yourself
Or you'll be goin' there too

Refrain:

Max Goolis
Performer(s): The Limeliters



Well, John Henry might have been a steel drivin' man but Max
Goolis was a street sweepin'man.....

Lord, Lord, Max Goolis was a street sweepin'man
Max Goolis was a street sweepin' man, Lord, Lord
Max Goolis was a street sweepin' man

When Max Goolis was a little bitty babe
The first words he did utter were
"Listen, Mum & Dad, I plan to spend
My whole life in the gutter, Lord, Lord
My whole life in the gutter

Well one day the boss came out on the job 
and he brought an automatic garbage truck around 
He said, "Alright, Max, turn in your white ducks, fella, you're through." 
Imagine it 
Goolis, foremost name in refuse, cast up on the heap, destitute 
He said, "Just a minute, sir, I deserve another chance 
I propose a race, me against the automatic garbage truck 
What do you say?"

Well, the entrepreneur was of the imaginative sort 
always looking for some kind of incentive proposal, short of profit-sharing 
and he said, "Alright, Maxie, in view of your years of devoted service 
I'll tell you what I'm gonna do 
You take one side of the street and the automatic garbage truck will take the other 
To the victor, belong the spoils!"

They started down the avenue
The scene it really looked bad
The automatic truck was sweeping up a storm
And Max was shovelling like mad, Lord, Lord
And Max was shovelling like mad

Max poured on speed and then he said
"I've only saved a coupla dimes
I'm behind by thirteen orange peels
And a copy of the New York Times, Lord, Lord
A copy of the New York Times"

West Coast edition 
Well eyewitnesses tell us that Max wasn't behind at all 
As a matter of fact, he was pulling ahead, slowly but surely 
in an epic of human labour when someone said suddenly 
"Hey, look, there's a parade a-comin'!" 
Sure enough it was the United States mounted cavalry

I'm certain that no-one expects us to include the next verse, certainly not our Aunt David 
Suffice it to say that the wind blew, and quite a few objects were airborne 
Well, some say it broke poor Max's heart and he died 
And others say, "Not a bit of it: his spirit lives on 
in keeping things neat and clean right here in San Francisco 
because Max Goolis was a street sweepin' man....."

Lord, Lord
Max Goolis was a street sweepin'man

He broke his poor heart and then he died
But Max is really not gone
On every single street where garbage lies
His soul goes shovelling on, Lord, Lord
His soul goes shovelling on, and on, and on
His soul goes shovelling on

Old Playmate
Composer(s): Gus Kahn; Matty Malneck
Performer(s): Ted Lewis; Frances Day



(Spoken)
Well Bobby, I didn’t recognise you at first
It’s a long time since we met, it must be years
I must say you look cleaner than you did
But then, you were only a kid
You used to be so shy
Do you remember when I fell off the swing and hurt my back 
you brought me your guinea pig, smelly little things weren’t they
D’you remember you were too shy to come and see me because I was in bed
Still, we had some good times together, oh we had some marvellous times
I remember them so, well
And I also remember that folks didn’t like you, you had funny ways

(Sung)
They used to wonder what I found to praise
But you were part of my happiest days
Old playmate

(Spoken)
Now let’s see, you were about eleven, yes I remember I was just nine

(Sung)
When I was hungry you just knew the signs
If you had something, the best half was mine
My playmate

Still, on life’s highway, we seem to have drifted apart
Though I wanted my way you’re still in my heart
And now I’ve got a feeling you’re still watching me
I’m only hoping I turn out to be
A little bit like you’d like me to be
My playmate

I have kept a picture book of memories
There I keep a photograph of you
Just a ragged urchin that you used to be
But the dearest pal I ever knew

Folks didn’t like you, you had funny ways
They used to wonder what I found to praise
But you were part of my happiest days
Old playmate.

I’ve got a feeling you’re still watching me
I’m only hoping I turned out to be
A little bit like you’d like me to be

(Spoken)
Do you remember how I pushed you in the duck pond because you wanted to kiss me?
You never tried again did you 
I thought kissing was silly, then
But, oh, Bobby you mustn’t, everybody’s looking
You can’t .....

Max Bygraves
Composer(s): Ian MacMillan
Performer(s): Blue



Look at you
Look at everything you do
Don't you ever lose that lucky glow
Cloudy view
Never interferes with you
Don't you ever cry when you feel low

I've been eating my heart out
Since you've been gone
Since you've been running 'round alone

I've been eating my heart out
Since you've been gone
Since you've been running 'round alone

I've been spinning my days out
Just sitting at home
I'm hanging around for your return

Dream come true
even 'though you never do
Don't you ever lose that lucky glow

Old Pipeliner (aka Pipeliner Blues)
Composer(s): Ray King; Tommy Hill
Performer(s): Rodney Crowell; 
Billy C. Farlow; Moon Mullican; Jimmy Ellis



Well, I'm an old pipeliner, I lay my line all day
Yes, I'm an old pipeliner and lay my line all day
I got forty-nine women waitin' to draw my pay

When you see me comin', better raise your window high
When you see me comin', better raise those windows high
And when you see me leavin', better hang your little head and cry

Well, I'm an old pipeliner, I lay my line all day
Yes, I'm an old pipeliner and lay my line all day
I got forty-nine women waiting to draw my pay

(Piano Solo)

Ah, play them songs, boys....

Just like a one-eyed cat peeping in a seafood store
Just like a one-eyed cat sleeping in a seafood store
You don't want me 'round, baby, I won't mess around with you no more

Just let me be your little dog till your big dog comes
Just let me be your little dog till your big dog comes
And when the big dog gets here, watch your puppy dog run

Well, I'm an old pipeliner, I lay my line all day
Yes, I'm an old pipeliner and lay my line all day
I got forty-nine women waiting to hear Albert play

And he can play, yeah....

(Guitar Solo)

Yeah, I'm an old pipeliner, I lay my line all day
Yes, I'm an old pipeliner and lay my line all day
I got forty-nine women waiting to draw my pay

Well, I'm an old pipeliner, I lay my line all day
Well, I'm an old pipeliner and lay my line all day
I got forty-nine women waiting to draw my pay

Maverick
Composer(s): David Buttolph; Paul Francis Webster
Originally performed by: Sons Of The Pioneers
Covered by various other artists



Who is the tall, dark stranger there? 
Maverick is the name
Ridin’ the trail to who knows where
Luck is his companion 
Gamblin’ is his game

Smooth as the handle on a gun 
Maverick is the name
Wild as the wind in Oregon
Blowin’ up a canyon, easier to tame

Riverboat, ring your bell 
Fare thee well, Annabel
Luck is the lady that he loves the best
Natchez to New Orleans 
Livin' on jacks and queens 
Maverick is a legend of the west

Riverboat, ring your bell 
Fare thee well, Annabel
Luck is the lady that he loves the best
Natchez to New Orleans 
Livin' on jacks and queens 
Maverick is a legend of the west
Maverick is a legend of the west

Old Piano Plays The Blues
Composer(s): Steve Allen; Don George
Performer(s): Andy Williams;
and various other artists



The clock is striking, guess it must be two
My baby left me for somebody new
I’ve been here playing since she said we’re through
An old piano plays the blues

The clock is striking, guess it must be three
My room is lonely as a room can be
I’m improvising on a memory
An old piano plays the blues

Each evening since we met, we were a close duet
From dusk until the moon would glow
And though she’s gone I find she’s hangin’ round my mind
I guess I’m not the kind to do a solo

The clock is striking, Lord it can’t be four
Perhaps I’d better lock the downstairs door
The one I play for will be here no more
An old piano plays the blues

I guess I’d better lock the door
She won’t be coming back no more
An old piano plays the blues
An old piano plays the blues

Mauvaise Option
Composer(s): Claude Moine; Pierre Papadiamandis
Performer(s): Eddy Mitchell



Mauvaise option
Tu n'as pas choisi la bonne solution
T'es perdu t'es planté
Mauvaise option
Retour case départ nouvelle direction
Tu peux tout recommencer
T'as loupé la sortie
De l'autoroute de ta vie
Interdit d'stationner
D's'arrêter sur le bas côté
C'est un labyrinthe miné
Mauvaise option
Pas l'droit à l'erreur t'es plus en action
Faut savoir se r'tirer
Mauvaise option
Va jouer dans la cour de récréation
Laisse les grands s'amuser
Cadre ou bien P.D.G.
Personne ne sera épargné
Les jeunes loups d'la finance
Font pas dans la romance
C'est pas des sœurs d'charité
Si l'téléphone sonne
Faut pas qu'tu t'étonnes
C'est pas pour un jeu
Un sondage pour la télé? 
Non
C'est ta banque préférée
Qui aim'rait te parler
De tes chèques impayés
Ta carte bleue refusée

Mauvaise option
Y a des jours comme ça où rien n'tourne rond
Faut rester couché
Mauvaise option
Faudrait qu'il n'y ait plus que des patrons
Surtout pas d'employés
Il faut te réveiller
C'était un rêve t'as cauch'mardé
Prends ton petit déjeuner
Et ouvre ton courrier
Tiens! Une lettre recommandée
Une convocation
Ça n'sent jamais bon
La grande direction souhaiterait te rencontrer
Une augmentation? Ou ta démission?
Tu t'demandes à quelle sauce tu seras mangé
Mauvaise option
Fais-toi beau asperge-toi de sent bon
Tu dois bien présenter
Mauvaise option
Sois à l'heure tiens-toi droit fais impression
Il t'faut dé-stresser
Mauvaise option
Va falloir trouver la bonne solution
Sinon t'es planté
Mauvaise option
Retour case départ
Mauvaise direction

Old Photographs
Performer(s): Janis Ian



Sometimes I feel like we've got

nothing to say anymore
We sit around
and fade into the walls
like old photographs

I guess it happens
as the days and years go by
Something changes
and you don't know why
and you're afraid to ask

Photographs
I don't want to be
just a fading memory
torn in half by time
All we have are pictures of us
and the way loved used to be
between you and me
Old photographs

We used to talk about
mistakes our parents made
We swore we'd never
waste our lives that way
How the tables turn

Are we the same two people
who fell in love
Have we really changed so much
or did we just grow up

Chorus

Matty Groves
(Traditional)
Performer(s): Fairport Convention
and various other artists



A holiday, a holiday, and the first one of the year
Lord Donald's wife came into the church, the gospel for to hear
And when the meeting it was done, she cast her eyes about
And there she saw little Matty Groves, walking in the crowd
"Come home with me, little Matty Groves, come home with me tonight
Come home with me, little Matty Groves, and sleep with me till light"
"Oh, I can't come home, I won't come home and sleep with you tonight
By the rings on your fingers I can tell you are my master's wife"
"But if I am Lord Donald's wife, Lord Donald's not at home
He is out in the far cornfields bringing the yearlings home"

And a servant who was standing by and hearing what was said
He swore Lord Donald he would know before the sun would set
And in his hurry to carry the news, he bent his breast and ran
And when he came to the broad millstream, he took off his shoes and he swam

Little Matty Groves, he lay down and took a little sleep
When he awoke, Lord Donald was standing at his feet
Saying "How do you like my feather bed and how do you like my sheets
How do you like my lady who lies in your arms asleep?"
"Oh, well I like your feather bed and well I like your sheets
But better I like your lady gay who lies in my arms asleep"
"Well, get up, get up," Lord Donald cried, "get up as quick as you can
It'll never be said in fair England that I slew a naked man"
"Oh, I can't get up, I won't get up, I can't get up for my life
For you have two long beaten swords and I not a pocket knife"
"Well it's true I have two beaten swords and they cost me deep in the purse
But you will have the better of them and I will have the worse
And you will strike the very first blow and strike it like a man
I will strike the very next blow and I'll kill you if I can"

So Matty struck the very first blow and he hurt Lord Donald sore
Lord Donald struck the very next blow and Matty struck no more
And then Lord Donald took his wife and he sat her on his knee
Saying "Who do you like the best of us, Matty Groves or me?"
And then up spoke his own dear wife, never heard to speak so free
"I'd rather a kiss from dead Matty's lips than you or your finery"

Lord Donald he jumped up and loudly he did bawl
He struck his wife right through the heart and pinned her against the wall
"A grave, a grave," Lord Donald cried, "to put these lovers in
But bury my lady at the top for she was of noble kin

Old Pal (Why Don't You Answer Me?)
Composer(s): Sam M. Lewis;
Joe Young; M.K. Jerome



Old pal old gal
You left me all alone
Old pal old gal
I'm just a rolling stone
Shadows that come stealing
Thru the weary night
Always find me kneeling
In the candle light

Old pal, old gal
The nights are long and drear
Old pal old gal
Each day seems like a year
No one left to meet me
After all I've toiled 
No one here to greet me
It's an empty world

The long night through I pray to you
Old pal why don't you answer me? 
My arms embrace an empty space
The arms that held you tenderly
If you can hear my pray'r away up there
Old pal why don't you answer me?

Mattinata
Composer(s): Ruggero Leoncavallo
Performer(s): Luciano Pavarotti
and various other artists



L’aurora di bianco vestita
Già l’uscio dischiude al gran sol
Di già con le rosee sue dita
Carezza de’ fiori lo stuol!
Commosso da un fremito arcano
Intorno il creato già par
E tu non ti desti, ed invano
Mi sto qui dolente a cantar

Metti anche tu la veste bianca
E schiudi l’uscio al tuo cantor!
Ove non sei la luce manca
Ove tu sei nasce l’amor

Ove non sei la luce manca
Ove tu sei nasce l’amor

Old Paint
(Traditional)
Performer(s): Linda Ronstadt;
and various other artists



I ride an old paint
I lead an old dam
I'm going to Montana
To throw a houlihan
They feed in the coolies
They water in the draw
Their tails are all matted
Their backs are all raw

Ride around
Ride around real slow
The fiery and the snuffy are raring to go

Old Bill Brown
Had a daughter and a son
One went to Denver
And the other went wrong
His wife she died in a poolroom fight
And still he keeps singing from morning til night

Ride around
Ride around real slow
Well the fiery and the snuffy are raring to go

Well when I die
Take my saddle from the wall
Put it on my pony
And lead him from his stall
Tie my bones to his back
Turn our faces to the west
And we'll ride the prairie
That we like the best

Ride around
Ride around real slow
Well the fiery and the snuffy are raring to go

Ride around
Ride around real slow
Well the fiery and the snuffy are raring to go