Telephone Man
Composer(s): Meri Wilson
Performer(s): Meri Wilson



I rented my apartment on a Monday at one
Singin' doo-lolly-lolly, shakey-bum, shakey-bum
Started movin' in it on a Tuesday at two
Singin' doo-lolly-lolly, shakey-doo, shakey-doo
Wednesday at three I called the phone company
Singin' hey baby, put a phone in for me
Thursday at four he came a-knockin' at my door
Singin' "Hey baby, I'm your telephone man
You just show me where you want it 
And I'll put it where I can
I can put it in the bedroom
I can put it in the hall
I can put it in the bathroom
I can hang it on the wall
You can have it with a buzz
You can have it with a ring
And if you really want it
You can have a ding-a-ling
Because, hey baby, I'm your telephone man"

Can you believe that... and then he says...
"Now when other fellahs call you
Tell 'em how it all began"
Well... huh-huh...

My heart began a-thumpin'
And my mind began to fly
And I knew I wasn't dealing
With no ordinary guy
So while he was a-talkin'
I was thinking up my plan
Then my fingers did the walkin'
On the telephone man
Singin' hey-lolly-lolly, hey-lolly-lolly
Hey lolly-lolly, get it anyway you can

Right... huh... huh... huh... 
So...

I got it in the bedroom
And I got it in the hall
And I got it in the bathroom
And he hung it on the wall
I got it with a buzz
And I got it with a ring
And when he told me what my number was
I got a ding-a-ling
A-singin' hey-lolly-lolly, hey lolly-lolly
Hey lolly-lolly, just a-doin' my thing

Huh... I never did anything like this before...

My Heart And I
Composer(s): Richard Tauber; Tyshena
Performer(s): Josef Locke
and various other artists



We are in love with you, my heart and I
And we are always true, my heart and I
When you are far away each smile's a tear
But it's a lovely day when you are near
Maybe that love is blind when passion rules
And that my heart and I are just two fools
And yet my darling if you ever say goodbye
I know we both should die, my heart and I

Once in a lifetime a love dream comes true
Just once in a lifetime or never
I met my fate on the day I met you
The moment you kissed me I knew
Strange fascination seems to fill and hold me
Fateful temptation such as no one ever told me
Everything I would endure for you
Come what may, oh, I'll keep smiling through
My heart is yours so you just take it
It's only asking not to break it

We are in love with you, my heart and I
And we are always true, my heart and I
When you are far away each smile's a tear
But it's a lovely day when you are near
Maybe that love is blind when passion rules
And that my heart and I are just two fools
And yet my darling if you ever say goodbye
I know we both should die, my heart and I

Goodbye Sue
Composer(s): Jimmy Rule; Lou Ricca; Jules Loman
Performer(s): Perry Como; Benny Goodman



They were standing in a crowded station
So unaware
Of all the people there! 
I didn't mean to hear their conversation
But anyone could tell
It was their last farewell! 

Good-bye Sue
All the best of luck to you! 
You've been my only gal
What's more, my best pal! 

Please don't cry
Smile until the clouds roll by! 
Don't kiss me dear, just walk away
Or I could never ever say
Good-bye, good-bye Sue! 

(Good-bye Sue) My little Sue! 
(All the best of luck to you!) Good luck to you! 
(You've been my only gal 
What's more, my best pal! 
My best pal!) 

Please don't cry 
Smile until the clouds roll by! 
Don't kiss me dear, just walk away
Or I could never ever say
Good-bye, good-bye Sue!

Telephone Line
Composer(s): Jeff Lynne
First release by: Electric Light Orchestra - 1976
Covered by multiple other artists



Hello--how are you
Have you been alright, through all those lonely nights
That's what I'd say, I'd tell you everything
If you'd pick up that telephone

Hey--how you feelin'
Are you still the same
Don't you realize the things we did were all for real not a dream
I just can't believe
They've all faded out of view

I look into the sky
And I wonder why

Telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight
Telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight

O.K. so no--one's answering
Well can't you just let it ring a little longer
I'll just sit tight, through the shadows of the night
Let it ring for evermore

Telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight
Telephone line, give me some time, I'm living in twilight

My Head Is My Only House Unless It Rains
Composer(s): Don Van Vliet
Originally performed by: Captain Beefheart



I'll let a train be my feet
If it's too far to walk to you
If a train don't go there I'll get a jet or a bus
Because I'm going to find you
You're going to see me shadow soon around you
And my head is my only house unless it rains

I walk the meadow plains

Water deserts are my eyes until I find you
I won't sleep until I find you
I won't eat until I find you
My heart won't beat until
I wrap my arms around you

My arms are just two things in the way

Until I can wrap them around you
You can make my sad song happy
Make a bad world good
I can feel you out there moving
You're mine, I know I'll find you
And my head is my only house until I've found you

I hate to have other people hear me sing this song

If this reaches you before I do
Follow it to "I love you"
That's where I'll find you
And my head is my only house until I find you

Goodbye Stranger
Composer(s): Roger Hodgson; Rick Davies
Performer(s): Supertramp



It was an early morning yesterday
I was up before the dawn
And I really have enjoyed my stay
But I must be movin' on

Like a king without a castle
Like a queen without a throne
I'm an early mornin' lover 
And I must be movin' on

Now I believe in what you say
Is the undisputed truth
But I have to have things my own way
Just to keep me in my youth

Like a ship without an anchor
Like a slave without a chain
Just the thought of those sweet ladies
Sends a shiver through my brains

And I will go on shining
Shinin' like brand new.
I'll never look behind me
My troubles will be few

Chorus:
Goodbye stranger, it's been nice
Hope you find your paradise
Tried to see your point of view
Hope your dreams will all come true

Goodbye, Mary
Goodbye, Jane
Will we ever meet again?
Feel no sorrow, feel no shame
Come tomorrow, feel no pain

And sweet devotion, it's not for me
Just give me motion and set me free
And the land and the ocean far away
Is the life I've chosen everyday

Now some they do and some they don't
And some you just can't tell
And some they will and some they won't
With some it's just as well

You can laugh at my behaviour
That'll never bother me
Say the devil is my saviour
But I won't pay no heed

Chorus (Repeat)

Telegraph Road
Composer(s): Mark Knopfler
Performer(s): Dire Straits



A long time ago came a man on a track
walking thirty miles with a sack on his back
and he put down his load where he thought it was the best
he made a home in the wilderness
he built a cabin and a winter store
and he ploughed up the ground by the cold lake shore
and the other travellers came riding down the track
and they never went further and they never went back
then came the churches then came the schools
then came the lawyers then came the rules
then came the trains and the trucks with their loads
and the dirty old track was the telegraph road
Then came the mines - then came the ore
then there was the hard times then there was a war
telegraph sang a song about the world outside
telegraph road got so deep and so wide
like a rolling river...
And my radio says tonight it's gonna freeze
people driving home from the factories
there's six lanes of traffic
three lanes moving slow...
I used to like to go to work but they shut it down
I've got a right to go to work but there's no work here to be found
yes, and they say we're gonna have to pay what's owed
we're gonna have to reap from some seed that's been sowed
and the birds up on the wires and the telegraph poles
they can always fly away from this rain and this cold
you can hear them singing out their telegraph code
all the way down the telegraph road
You know I'd sooner forget but I remember those nights
when life was just a bet on a race between the lights
you had your hand on my shoulder you had your hand in my hair
now you act a little colder like you don't seem to care...
but believe in me baby and I'll take you away
from out of this darkness and into the day
from these rivers of headlights these rivers of rain
from the anger that lives on these streets with these names
'cos I've run every red light on memory lane
I've seen desperation explode into flames
and I don't wanna see it again...
From all of these signs saying sorry but we're closed
all the way down the telegraph road

My Hawaiian Rose
Composer(s): Walter Bolian; James G. Henshel



On an island fair where the flowers rare 
With their fragrance fills the balmy air 
Where fair maidens are I hear the old guitar 
Calling me back to this land a far
Where the palm trees sway and the lovers gay 
sing love songs all the while
There my heart goes back to a rose 
I left upon this flowered isle

Where the twilight fades 
then the soft night shades
Make me long for the land of dark eyed maids 
And there comes to me across the sea
Visions that gill me with ecstasy
And in restless dreams it always seems 
I hear this rose implore
That I once more come to the shore 
Where love and song lives ever more

Each gentle breeze brings me memories 
Of my sweet Hawaiian Rose 
And each flower fair I find blooming there 
To me her charms disclose 
But then I know that I will go 
At winters close to seek repose 
In the arms of my Hawaiian Rose

Goodbye So Soon
Composer(s): Henry Mancini
Performer(s): Vincent Price



Goodbye so soon
And isn't this a crime
We know by now that time knows how to fly
So here's goodbye so soon
You'll find your separate way
With time so short I'll say so long
And go
So soon
Goodbye

You followed me, I followed you
We were like each other's shadows for a while
Now as you see, this game is through
So although it hurts, I'll try to smile
As I say goodbye so soon
And isn't this a crime
We know by now that time knows how to fly
So here's goodbye so soon
You'll find your separate way
With time so short I'll say so long
And go
So soon
Goodbye

Télégramme
Composer(s): Michel Emer
Performer(s): Edith Piaf



C'est un télégramme pour Marie Belage
Dans la cour, escalier B, cinquième étage
Troisième porte à gauche, deux marches à descendre
Frapper fort pour qu'elle puisse vous entendre

Le p'tit facteur grimpe quatre à quatre
Un vieille demoiselle vient ouvrir
D'une voix dure et acariâtre
Elle dit "merci" puis se retire
Elle ouvre en tremblant la dépêche
En général, on n'aime pas ça
Elle lit tout haut, la gorge sèche
Puis elle relit dix fois tout bas
"Serai Orly - huit heures - deux mai -
Suis impatient - suis fou de joie -
Je vous adore plus que jamais -
Amour - baisers - signé - ...François..."

Elle retourne vingt ans en arrière
Comme ils s'aimaient, il y a vingt ans
Mais ses parents hélas, le refusèrent
Il n'avait pas un sou vaillant
"Je reviendrai fortune faite"
Lui a-t-il dit
"Je t'attendrai
Je veux aussi que tu promettes
Que tu ne m'oublieras jamais"
Il est parti - les mois, les années passent
Elle est toute seule devant la vie
Beauté, fraîcheur, jeunesse... tout s'efface
Et plus d'argent, donc plus d'amis...

Les voyageurs arrivant du Mexique
Ah le voilà! Comme il est grand!
Ses tempes grises lui donnent l'air poétique
Il est plus beau qu'il y a vingt ans
Elle est toute pâle et ses mains brûlent
Comme il bat fort son pauvre cœur
Il vient vers elle, il la bouscule
"J'vous demande pardon!... Dites-moi, porteur!
Je cherche une dame élégante et très belle
De grands yeux bleus, des cheveux blonds
Plutôt petite... Attendez! J'crois que c'est elle...
Ah! Non, ce n'est pas elle...
J'vous demande pardon!..."

Vous n'auriez pas vu une dame blonde -
Elégante - très belle -
Vous n'auriez pas vu une dame blonde -
Elégante - très belle -
Vous n'auriez pas vu...

My Happiness
Composer(s): Betty Peterson; Borney Bergantine
Performer(s): Connie Francis
and various other artists



Evening shadows make me blue
When each weary day is through
How I long to be with you
My happiness

Every day I reminesce 
Dreaming of your tender kiss
Always thinking how I miss
My happiness

A million years it seems
Have gone by since we shared our dreams
But I'll hold you again
There'll be no blue memories then

Whether skies are grey or blue
Any place on earth will do
Just as long as I'm with you
My happiness

A million years it seems
Have gone by since we shared our dreams
But I'll hold you again
There'll be no blue memories then

Whether skies are grey or blue
Any place on earth will do
Just as long as I'm with you
My happiness

Goodbye Sadness
((Portuguese Version: Tristeza (Sergio Mendes & Brasil '66))
Performer(s): Astrud Gilberto & Walter Wanderly Trio



La la la-la la
The big sadness the heart feels
Let it leave mine forever
Let my lips sing again
From this day on my days are days of sun and roses
My life's a carnival of song
From this day on my dear the door to sorrow closes
This day when you came along
La la la-la la
The big sadness the heart feels
Let it leave mine forever
Let my lips sing again
From this day on my days are days of sun and roses
My life's a carnival of song
From this day on my dear the door to sorrow closes
This day when you came along

Kashmiri Song
Composer(s): Amy Woodforde-Finden
Performer(s): Maggie Teyet
and multiple other artists



Pale hands I loved beside the Shalimar
Where are you now, who lies beneath your spell
Who do you lead on rapture's roadway far
Before you agonise them in farewell
Before you agonise them in farewell

Pale hands I loved beside the Shalimar
Where are you now, where are you now

Pale hands, pink tipped, like Lotus buds that float
On those cool waters where we used to dwell
I would have rather felt you round my throat
Crushing out life, than waving me farewell
Crushing out life, than waving me farewell

Pale hands I loved beside the Shalimar
Where are you now, where are you now

My Handy Man
Composer(s): Andy Razaf; Eubie Blake
Performer(s): Ethel Waters
and various other artists



Whoever said a good man is hard to find
Positively, absolutely sure was blind
I've found the best man there ever was
Here's just some of the things that my man does

Why he shakes my ashes, greases my griddle
Chimes my butter and he strokes my fiddle
My man is such a handy man (oh yes he is)

He threads my needle, creams my wheat
Heats my heater and he chops my meat
My man is such a handy man

Now I don't care if you believe it or not
He's so good to have around
And when my furnace gets too hot
He's right there and turns my damper down

Why for everything he's got a scheme
You oughta see that new stuff he uses on my machine
That man is such a handy man (he's God's gift girls)

Why he flaps my flapjacks, cleans off my table
Feeds my horses out in my stable
That man is such a handy man, mmm yeah

Sometimes he's up long before the dawn
Busy trimmin' the rough edges off my front lawn
Yeah that man is such a handy man

Why you know he never has a single word to say
No, not while he's working hard
And I wished that you could see the way
He handles my front yard

Yeah you know my ice don't get a chance to melt away
'Cause he sees that I get that fresh piece every day
My man, my man is such a handy man
And I ain't kiddin'!

Goodbye Roseland
Composer(s): Dennis DeYoung
Performer(s): Styx



A busy airport in a boring town
You bought your ticket and I knew you meant it
While we stood in line we didn’t even try

Three car crash on a two lane bridge
We never really had an understanding
I’m really glad it’s over now
Goodbye…

All you are is part of yesterday
Just a headline on some wrapping paper
Still in the end it turned out to be a lie

Now there’s nothing standing in my way
Not even memories of the few good moments
I carry nothing—I’m so light that I could fly
Goodbye…

Telegram Sam
Composer(s): Marc Bolan
First release by: T. Rex - 1972
Covered by multiple other artists



Telegram Sam Telegram Sam 
You're my main man 

Golden Nose Slim Golden Nose Slim 
I know's where you' ve bin 
Purple Pie Pete Purple Pie Pete 
Your lips are like lightning 
Girls melt in the heat 

Telegram Sam 
You're my main man 
Telegram Sam 
You're my main man 

Bobby's alright Bobby's alright 
He's a natural born poet 
He's just outa sight 
Jungle faced Jake 
Jungle faced Jake 
I say make no mistake 
About Jungle faced Jake 

Automatic shoes 
Automatic shoes 
Give me three D vision 
And the California blues 
Me I funk but I don't care 
I ain't no square with my corkscrew hair 

Telegram Sam Telegram Sam 

I'm a howlin' wolf

My Guy 
French Title: Ma Fille
Composer(s): Smokey Robinson
Originally performed by: Mary Wells
Covered by various other artists



Nothing you could say could take me away from my guy
Nothing you could do, 'cuz I'm stuck like glue to my guy

I'm sticking to my guy like a stamp to a letter
Like birds of a feather we stick together

I'm telling you from the start I can't be torn apart from my guy 

As a matter of opinion I think he's tops
My opinion is he's the cream of the crop
As a matter of taste to be exact
He's my ideal as a matter of fact

No muscle bound man could take my hand from my guy
No handsome face could ever take the place of my guy
He may not be a movie star
But when it comes to being happy we are

I'm telling you from the start I can't be torn apart from my guy

Goodbye Pork Pie Hat
Composer(s): Charles Mingus; Joni Mitchell
Performer(s): Charles Mingus;
and various other artists



When Charlie speaks of Lester
You know someone great has gone
The sweetest swinging music man
Had a Porkie Pig hat on
A bright star
In a dark age
When the bandstands had a thousand ways
Of refusing a black man admission
Black musician
In those days they put him in an
Underdog position
Cellars and chitlins'

When Lester took him a wife
Arm and arm went black and white
And some saw red
And drove them from their hotel bed
Love is never easy
It's short of the hope we have for happiness
Bright and sweet
Love is never easy street!
Now we are black and white
Embracing out in the lunatic New York night
It's very unlikely we'll be driven out of town
Or be hung in a tree
That's unlikely!

Tonight these crowds
Are happy and loud
Children are up dancing in the streets
In the sticky middle of the night
Summer serenade
Of taxi horns and fun arcades
Where right or wrong
Under neon
Every feeling goes on!
For you and me
The sidewalk is a history book
And a circus
Dangerous clowns
Balancing dreadful and wonderful perceptions
They have been handed
Day by day
Generations on down

We came up from the subway
On the music midnight makes
To Charlie's bass and Lester's saxophone
In taxi horns and brakes
Now Charlie's down in Mexico
With the healers
So the sidewalk leads us with music
To two little dancers
Dancing outside a black bar
There's a sign up on the awning
It says "Pork Pie Hat Bar"
And there's black babies dancing
Tonight

Telecide
Composer(s): Cotton Bend - Fee Waybill - Vince Welnick
Performer(s): The Tubes



Listen boys and girls

About the other world
It's just a day job
Night job
Odd job
Nose job
Hand job
Blow job
Rack job
Snow job
Boring 9-to-5 job
Rather have a knob job

Things get too inertial
No time for commercials
I'd rather be a clone
I guess I'm going home
To visit Kojak
Gong Show
Happy Days
Adam-12
Edge Of Night
Love Of Life
Merv and Mike
Good Times
Make A Deal
Charlie's Angels
Family Feud

Feeling so much thinner
I need a TV dinner
I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore

TV suicide
TV suicide
What a lovely way to die
It's a television suicide

Please stand by
We're coming to you live
'Cause we got news
Hot news
Flash news
Trash news
Funny news
Stupid news
Comprehensive overviews
Eyewitness TV news
Brought to you by Gucci shoes

This one is so juicy
We're pre-empting Lucy

Coming down the street
The sound of running feet
He's at the front door
Back door
Side door
Cellar door
First floor
Second floor
Third floor
Bedroom door
Throws himself across the floor
Turns it on to Channel 4

Stay tuned to this channel
For our all-star panel

I used to know him
He seemed like a regular guy

TV suicide
TV suicide
What a lovely way to die
It's another case of telecide

TV suicide
TV suicide
What a lovely way to die
It's a television suicide

My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama
Composer(s): Frank Zappa
Originally performed by: Frank Zappa
Covered by various other artists



You know, your mama and your daddy
Saying I'm no good to you
They call me dirty from the alley
Till I don't know what to do
I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to your back door
I crawled past the garbage and
Your mama jumped out, screamin'
"Don't come back no more"
I can't take it
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me mad

Later I tried to call you
Your mama told me you weren't there
She told me don't bother to call again
Unless I cut off all my hair
I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to your back door
I crawled past the garbage and
Your mama jumped out, screamin'
"Don't come back no more"

Later I tried to call you
Your mama told me you weren't there
She told me don't bother to call again
Unless I cut off all my hair
I get so tired of sneakin' around
Just to get to your back door
I crawled past the garbage and
Your mama jumped out, screamin'
"Don't come back no more"
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to kill your mama
My guitar wants to burn your dad
I get real mean when it makes me mad