The Telephone Hour
From the film "Bye Bye Birdie" (1963)
Composer(s): Charles Strouse - Lee Adams



Hi, Nancy!
Hi, Ursula!
What's the story, morning glory?
What's tale, nightingale?
Tell me quick about Hugo and Kim!
Hi, Margie!
Hi, Alice!
What's the story, morning glory?
What's the word, humming bird?
Have you heard about Hugo and Kim?
Did they really get pinned?
Did she kiss him and cry?
Did he pin the pin on?
Or was he too shy?
Well, I heard they got pinned
Yeah! Yeah!
I was hopin' they would!
Uh-huh!
Now they're livin' at last
Goin' steady for good!
Hello, Mister Henkel, this is Harvey Johnson
Can I talk to Penelope Ann?
Is it true about Kim?
Penelope!
I just knew it somehow
About the Prom...
I must call her right up!
Saturday
I can't talk to you now!

Goin' steady
You know it, man!
Goin' steady
It's crazy, man!
Goin' steady
You know it
It won't last!
Not at all!
He's too thin!
She's too tall!
Hello, Missus Miller, this is Harvey Johnson
Can I speak to Debra Sue?
Hiya, Hugo!
Hiya, stupid!
What ya wanna go get pinned for?
You don't know how to live
Oh, you meathead
You'd get pinned if you could
Lost your marbles
Kim and I are in love
Are you nutty
Goin' steady for...
Hello, Mrs Garfein, is Charity home from school yet?

Did they really get pinned?
Goin' steady?
We was hopin' they would
He's gone
Now they're livin' at last
She nailed him
If you gotta go, that's the way to go
When they got you hooked
Then you're really cooked
Whatcha gonna do?
Whatcha gonna do?
Well, I heard they got pinned
Oh, man!
I was thinking they would
Oh, man!
Now they're livin' at last
Goin' steady for good
Goin' steady, goin' steady
Goin' steady, steady for good
Goin' steady, goin' steady
Goin' steady, steady for good
He's in love with Kim
Kim's in love with him!
Goin' steady, goin' steady
Goin' steady!
That's the way it should be!
Oh yeah!
They'll be happy, I know!
Oh yeah!
Goin' steady for me
Oh yeah!
That's the way it should go
Goin' steady, goin' steady
Goin' steady, goin' steady
Goin' steady, steady for good
Goin' steady, goin' steady
Goin' steady, goin' steady
Goin' steady, steady for good
Goin' steady, goin' steady
Goin' steady, goin' steady
Goin' steady, goin' steady for...
Goin' steady!
Oooooooh Yeah!!!

Come Monday
Composer(s): Jimmy Buffett
Performer(s): Jimmy Buffett
and various other artists



Headin' up to San Francisco
for the Labor Day weekend show
I've got my hush-puppies on
I guess I never was meant for 
glitter rock and roll
And honey I didn't know 
that I'd be missin' so

Come Monday It'll be all right
Come Monday I'll be holding you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. haze
and I just want you back by my side

Yes it's been quite a summer
rent-a-cars and west bound trains
And now your off on vacation
somethin' you tried to explain
And darlin' I love you so that's
the reason I just let you go

Come Monday It'll be all right
Come Monday I'll be holding you tight
I spent four lonely days in a brown L.A. haze
and I just want you back by my side

I can't help it honey
your that much a part of me now
Remember the night in Montana when
we said there'd be no room for doubt

I hope your enjoyin' the scen'ry
I know that it's pretty up there
We can go hikin on Tuesday
with you I'd walk anywhere
California has worn me quite thin
I just can't wait to see you again

Riptide
Composer(s): Walter Donaldson; Gus Kahn
Performer(s): Al Bowlly;
and various other artists



Riptide, caught in a riptide
Torn between two loves, the old and the new
Riptide, lost in a riptide
Where will it take me, what shall I do?

My heart is tossed on a sea of emotion
One love offers romance, the other devotion
A new love is calling, the old love is bleeding
I’m caught in a riptide, what shall I do?

The Teddy Bear's Picnic
Composer(s): Jimmy Kennedy - John W. Bratton
Performer(s): Henry Hall & His Orch.
and multiple other artists



If you go down to the woods today
You're sure of a big surprise
If you go down to the woods today
You'd better go in disguise

For ev'ry bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic

Ev'ry teddy bear who's been good
Is sure of a treat today
There's lots of marvelous things to eat
And wonderful games to play

Beneath the trees where nobody sees
They'll hide and seek as long as they please
'Cause that's the way the teddy bears have their picnic

If you go down to the woods today
You'd better not go alone
It's lovely down in the woods today
But safer to stay at home

For ev'ry bear that ever there was
Will gather there for certain, because
Today's the day the teddy bears have their picnic

Picnic time for teddy bears
The little teddy bears are having a lovely time today
Watch them, catch them unawares
And see them picnic on their holiday

See them gaily gad about
They love to play and shout
They never have any care

At six o'clock their mummies and daddies
Will take them home to bed
Because they're tired little teddy bears

Come Live With Me
Composer(s): Boudleaux Bryant; Felice Bryant
Performer(s): Roy Clark
and various other artists



Come live with me and be my love
Share my bread and wine
Be wife to me, be life to me, be mine
Come live with me and be my love
Let our dreams combine
Be mate to me, be fate to me, be mine

With these hands I’ll build a roof
To shield your head
And with these hands
I’ll carve the wood for a baby bed

Come live with me and be my love
Share my bread and wine
Be part of me, the heart of me, be mine
I’ll try to do my best for you
I’ll promise you
I’ll laugh with you, I’ll cry with you, my whole life through

Come live with me and be my love
Share my bread and wine
Be part of me, the heart of me, be mine....

Ripple
Composer(s): Jerry Garcia; Robert Hunter
Performer(s): Grateful Dead;
and various other artists



If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine
And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung
Would you hear my voice come thru the music
Would you hold it near as it were your own?

It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken
Perhaps they're better left unsung
I don't know, don't really care
Let there be songs to fill the air

Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to blow

Reach out your hand if your cup be empty
If your cup is full may it be again
Let it be known there is a fountain
That was not made by the hands of men

There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go no one may follow
That path is for your steps alone

Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to blow

But if you fall you fall alone
If you should stand then who's to guide you?
If I knew the way I would take you home

La dee da da da, La da da da da, Da da da, Da da, Da da da da da
La da da da, La da da, Da da, La da da da, La da, Da da

The Tears Of A Clown
Composer(s): Stevie Wonder - Smokey Robinson - Henry Cosby
First release by: Smokey Robinson & The Miracles - 1967
Covered by multiple other artists



Now if there's a smile on my face 
It's only there trying to fool the public 
But when it comes down to fooling you 
Now honey that's quite a different subject

But don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Cos really I'm sad, Oh I'm sadder than sad
Well I'm hurt and I want you so bad
Like a clown I appear to be glad ooh yeah

Well they're some sad things known to man 
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown when there's noone around
Oh yeah, baby baby, oh yeah baby baby

Now if I appear to be carefree
It's only to camouflage my sadness
And honey to shield my pride I try
To cover this hurt with a show of gladness
But don't let my show convince you
That I've been happy since you
Cos I need to go, oh I need you so
Look I'm hurt and I want you to know
For others I put on a show...

Well they're some sad things known to man 
But ain't too much sadder than
The tears of a clown when there's noone around
Oh yeah, baby baby, oh yeah baby baby

Just like Pagliacci did
I try to keep my surface hid
Smiling in the crowd I try
But in a lonely room I cry
The tears of a clown
When there's noone around, oh yeah, baby baby
Now if there's a smile on my face
Don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Don't let this smile I wear
Make you think that I don't care
Cos really I'm sad...

Rip Off
Composer(s): Marc Bolan
Performer(s): T. Rex;
and various other artists



In the moonlight
Fighting with the night
It's a rip-off

Kissing all the slain
I'm bleeding in the rain
It's a rip-off

Such a rip-off

Rocking in the nude
I'm feeling such a dude
It's a rip-off

Dancing in the dark
With the tramps in the park
It's a rip-off

Such a rip-off

See your baby's stud
Sliding in my mud
It's a rip-off

Bleached on the beach
I want to tickle your peach
It's a rip-off

See the girl dance
In her man-skin pants
It's a rip-off

Terraplane Tommy
Wants to bang your gong
It's a rip-off

Such a rip-off

Gypsy girl's good
People treat her like a fool
She's a rip-off

The President's weird
He's got a burgundy beard
It's a rip-off

Such a rip-off

I'm the King of the Highway
I'm the Queen of the Hop
You should see me
At the Governor's Ball
Doing the Rip-Off Bop

I'm a social person
I'm the creature in disguise
There's a man with a whip
On his silver hip
Living inside my eyes

I'm the cat from the alley
I'm the fleet-foot voodoo man
There's very little that's ever said
All of which I understand

Caught like a skunk
In space and time
It's a rip-off

If it's hers
Well it must be mine
It's a rip-off

Such a rip-off

Dancing in the nude
Feeling such a dude
It's a rip-off

Mountains of the moon
Remind me of a spoon
It's a rip-off

Such a rip-off

Bleached on the beach
I want to tickle your peach
It's a rip-off

See the girl dance
In her man-skin pants
It's a rip-off

Dog Named Jim
Composer(s): Richard Pryor
Performer(s): Stinter



I once had a dog and his name was Jim
And he went around the house hiding things
He hid my old brown shoe and he hid it well
And where he put it I could not tell

Oh no... Jim you shouldn't hide these things you know

Well Jim got mad and he ran away
He ran from the house one dark day
He hid in an old brown shack, it hid him well
And where he went I could not tell

Oh no... Jim you shouldn't hide away you know

Jim, don't leave me alone...
Don't leave from your home...
Where's your bone?

I had a little dog and his name was Jim
And I never found out what happened to him
Maybe he's buried in an old brown box
But what I want to know is where's my socks?

Jim you shouldn't hide these things you know...

Come Into My Heart
Composer(s): Harold Logan; Lloyd Price
Performer(s): Lloyd Price;
Wayne Foret; Howard Tate



I've never heard a name, as quite as sweet as yours
I never saw eyes, as quite as bright as yours
I've never found love that cant grow old
And that is why, and that is why, I love you
So come on
You better come on step right on to my heart
You better come oooonn, to my heart
e'en a heart, as good and pure as yours
I've never seen a smile as true and bright as yours
I've never found love that can't grow old
And that is why, that is why, I love you
So come on
You better come oooon to my heart

Just sitting here thinking with a you on my mind
Don't go no where I'm worried all the time
Come on
You better come on come on into my heart
You better come ooonne into my heart

Rip It Up/Shake, Rattle And Roll/Blue Suede Shoes (Medley)
Composer(s): Robert "Bumps" Blackwell;
Chuck Calhoun; John Marascalco; Carl Perkins
Performer(s): The Beatles



Walk on out unto the sky
I don't care if I spend my dough
Tonight I'm gonna be one happy soul
Gonna rock it up
Gonna shake it up
Gonna roll it up
Whoah, have a ball tonight

Rattle and roll
I said shake, rattle and roll
You never do nothing
To save your doggone soul

Well get out of that kitchen
And shake those pots and pans
I said get out of that kitchen
And shake those pots and pans
I said to my soul:
You're the devil in a frying pan

Well I said shake, rattle and roll
I said shake, rattle and roll
I said shake, rattle and roll
I said shake, rattle and roll
You never done nothing
To save your doggone soul

You can knock me down
Slap my face
Slander my name all over the place
Do anything that you want to do
But ah-ha honey lay off them shoes

Now don't you step on my blue suede shoes
Well you can do anything
But lay off of them blue suede shoes
Ah go!

You can burn my house
Steal my car
Drink my liquor from an old fruit jar
Do anything that you want to do
But ah-ha honey lay off them shoes

And don't you step on my blue suede shoes, please
Well you can do anything
But lay off of them blue suede shoes
Ah go, hit it, Carl!

Well it's blue blue, blue suede shoes
Yeah, blue blue, blue suede shoes
Babe, blue blue, blue suede shoes

Yeah, brown brown, brown suede boots
Well do anything but lay off of them blue suede shoes

The Tattooed Lady
Composer(s): O'Keefe
Performer(s): Billy Cotton



I just heard a story that rings in my ears
It's one of the saddest a soul ever hears
To think of it makes me break out into tears
It deals with a man and his mate
Mother Eve in the Garden of Eden
Heard the serpent the same as the lass
And this girl might have turned from temptation
Except for a terrible snake in the grass

Oh, shame on the man who pursued her
The villain who viciously wooed her
She fell in a faint, so he pulled out his paint
And the first thing she knew, he'd tattooed her

Her downfall began as an innocent thing
Her husband went off to go fishing one spring
So she joined her girl friends to go on a fling
They all went to bathe on the beach
Then this artist came up with his paint pot
And his needle to toy mit her calf
She allowed him to tinker, he painted a fiend
Who was sawing a woman in half

Oh, shame on the man who pursued her
The villain who viciously wooed her
She fell in a faint, so he pulled out his paint
And the first thing she knew, he'd tattooed her

The girl wasn't bright, and the fellow was smart
And now that he'd made such a favourable start
He made her believe she was helping his art
They met every day after that

Never once did she think that he loved her
Nor did she think that he'd do her harm
Till the day that he tattooed in red, white and blue
And he wrote "I love you" on her arm

Oh, shame on the man who pursued her
The villain who viciously wooed her
She fell in a faint, so he pulled out his paint
And the first thing she knew, he'd tattooed her

Her husband come home and they instantly kissed
His eyes read the writing from elbow to wrist
He foamed at the mouth and eventually hissed
His rage drove him blinkin' well barmy
She was hurt by his attitude deeply
And hysterically started to laugh
So she pulled down her stocking and showed him the beast
Who was sawing a woman in half

Oh, shame on the man who pursued her
The villain what viciously wooed her
She fell in a faint, so he pulled out his paint
And the first thing she knew, he'd tattooed her

No chance did she have to explain things, for then
He yelled, "Never dampen my bath-mat again"
So now she gets tattooed whenever she can
She works in a circus for pay
And her soft epidermis is painted
With the pictures of sailors and such
And if you have a needle you too can tattoo
On the skin that they all love to touch

Oh, shame on the man who pursued her
The villain who viciously wooed her
She fell in a faint, so he pulled out his paint
And the first thing she knew, he'd tattooed her

Come Inside
Composer(s): Tom Bailey; Alannah Carrie
Performer(s): Thompson Twins



I can't find my way out of this place
I'm crawling on the floor
If the party's over, why won't you tell me?
I don't see you dancing any more

Well when all the doors are open wide
I'll be yours and maybe you'll be mine
So close your eyes; kiss the sky
The door is open won't ya come inside

Well can you hear the wind? It's telling lies
It happens all the time
Can you see the faces, seraphim eyes
They make me want to cry

Well when all the doors are open wide
I'll be yours and maybe you'll be mine
So close your eyes; kiss the sky
The door is open won't ya come inside

Come inside, come inside

Well, I could dive in deep or float on by
It doesn't matter to me, no
'Cos one way or another
I'm gonna get myself right out of this dream

Well when all the doors are open wide
I'll be yours and maybe you'll be mine
So close your eyes; kiss the sky
The door is open won't ya come inside

Well when all the doors are open wide
I'll be yours and maybe you'll be mine
So close your eyes; kiss the sky
The door is open won't ya come inside

When all the doors are open wide
I'll be yours and maybe you'll be mine
So cover your eyes; kiss the sky
The door is open, so come inside

Rip It Up
Composer(s): Robert Alexander Blackwell; John Marascalco
Performer(s): Little Richard;
and various other artists



Saturday night and I just got paid
I'm a fool about my money, don't try to save
My heart says "go go, have a time"
Saturday night and I'm feelin' fine

Chorus
I'm gonna rock it up, whoo
Rip it up
I'm gonna shake it up
Gonna ball it up
I'm gonna rock it
And ball tonight

Well almost 'bout ten I'll be flying high
I'll rock on out unto the sky
I don't care if I spend my dough
Tonight I'm gonna be one happy soul

chorus

The Tarpaulin Jacket
Composer(s): G.J. Whyte-Melville - Charles Coote



A tall stalwart lancer lay dying
And as on his deathbed did lay
To his friends who around him were sighing
These last dying words he did say

Wrap me up in my tarpaulin jacket
And say a poor buffer lies low
And six six stalwart lancers shall carry me
With steps solemn, mournful and slow

Had I the wings of a little dove
Far away I would fly, I'd fly
Start for the arms of my true lover
And there I would lay me and die

Then get you two little white tombstones
Put them at my head and my toe, my toe
And get you a penknife and scratch there
'Here lies a poor buffer below'

And get you six brandies and sodas
And set them all out in a row, a row
And get you six jolly good fellows
To drink to this buffer below

And then in the calm of the twilight
When the soft winds are whispering low, so low
And the darkening shadows are falling
Sometimes think of this buffer below

Come In The Morning
Composer(s): Bob Mosley
Performer(s): Moby Grape



Come in the morning
When the sun is shining
Bring me a dream
With the sun beams climbing

Above my head, yeah
To light another day for me

Stay with me now, tomorrow...
Come what may
Girl, come what may

Come in the morning
When most people are sleeping
Drifting in slumber
While others are keepin'

A light burning brightly
Come with me
I'll show you the way
Stay with me now, tomorrow...

I'm asking only
Cause if you're lonely
You gotta let me know
Enjoy the wonders
Of life and love
Before you have to go
Let me know

Come on, I need...

Stay with me now, tomorrow...
Come what may, come what may...
Come what may, come what may...

Come in the morning
When the sun is shining
Bring me a dream
With the sun beams climbing

Above my head, yeah
To light another day for me!

Stay with me now, tomorrow...
Come what may
Girl, come what may

You know I love you (Come what may)
You know that I need you (Come what may)
I don't want nobody else, baby (Come what may)
I don't need nobody, nobody else, baby (Come what may)
I just want your love (Come what may)

Rip It Out
Composer(s): Ace Frehley; Larry Kelly; Sue Kelly
Performer(s): Kiss; Ace Frehley; 
Scott Ian; Brian Tichy



Now I know, you've been cheatin' and lyin' all the time 
I didn't know you were gonna be so unkind 
I've been trying just to find out how we went wrong 
But I know that I can't trust you girl anymore 

Chorus: 
Rip it out, take my heart, you wanted it from the start 
You got it now, so goodbye, so rip it out, watch me cry 

It's so sad, I'm not glad to be with you today 
And it's bad, 'cos I can't stop the pain day by day 
If I knew how to stop you, I don't think I'd try 
I think it's better if we just part and don't say goodbye 

chorus 

I hope you suffer! 

chorus repeats 2x 

Rip it out (repeats out)

The Talk Of All The U.S.A.
Composer(s): G. Capuano - M. Capuano - H. Stott
Performer(s): Middle Of The Road



Julie puts her make up
On her face ev'ry day

She's a woman
Yes I know

She's a woman
Even so
she's the talk of all the USA

Oh
Yeah
The talk of all the USA

I went out with Julie
To a party one night

She's a woman...

I was mad I completely
Turned blind

She wouldn't let me love her
And it blew my mind
Julie said man
I must be very sure

She told me that she'd
Never been loved before
Then I put my coat on
We decided to go

She's a woman...

On the way back home
I tried with Julie again

She's a woman...

In the car with remote
Controlled hands

I knew that little Julie
She would understand

When I got there before my very eyes

I'll tell you man
I got myself a big surprise
Julie had that something
Other girls didn't have

She's a woman...

Come In From The Rain
Composer(s): Melissa Manchester; Carole Bayer Sager
Performer(s): Melissa Manchester



Well, hello there
Good old friend of mine
You've been reaching for yourself
For such a long time
There's so much to say
No need to explain
Just an open door for you
To come in from the rain
It's a long road
When you're all alone
And someone like you
Will always choose the
long way home
There's no right or wrong
I'm not here to blame
I just want to be the one
Who keeps you from the rain

From the rain
And it looks like sunny skies
Now that I know you're alright
Time has left us older
Wiser, I know I am
'Cause I think of us
Like an old cliche
But it doesn't matter
'Cause I love you anyway
Come in from the rain
And it looks like sunny skies
Now that I know you're alright
Time has left us older
But Wiser, I know I am
And it's good to know
My best friend has come home again
'Cause I think of us
Like an old cliche
But it doesn't matter
'Cause I love you anyway
Come in from the rain
Come in from the rain
Come in from the rain

Come Home To My Heart
Performer(s): Bobby Lewis



If you get lonely out there in that old world
And you become just a homesick little girl
Should the life you lead begin to fall apart
Then come home oh come home to my heart

Then come home to my heart the door is open
Come on home when the tears begin to fall
Forget the past and things that might have been
And come home to my heart just walk right in

If some old mem'ry should start working on your mind
And you get lonesome for the love you left behind
If your new world begins to fall apart
Then come home oh come home to my heart

Then come home to my heart...
And come home to my heart just walk right in