Two Lovely Black Eyes
Composer(s): Charles Coburn 
Performer(s): Charles Coburn



Strolling so happy down Bethnal Green
This gay youth you might have seen
Tompkins and I, with his girl between
Oh! what a surprise!
I prais'd the Conservatives frank and free
Tompkins got angry so speedilee
All in a moment he handed to me
Two lovely black eyes!

Next time, I argued I thought it best
To give the conservative side a rest
The merits of Glad-stone I freely pressed 
When
Oh! what a surprise!
The chap I had met was a Tory true
Nothing the Liberals right could do
This was my share of that argument too
Two lovely black eyes!

The moral you've caught I can hardly doubt
Never on politics rave and shout
Leave it to others to fight it out, if
You would be wise
Better, far better, it is to let
Lib'rals and Tories alone, you bet
Unless you're willing and anxious to get
Two lovely black eyes!

Two lovely black eyes!
Oh! what a surprise!
Only for telling a man he was wrong
Two lovely black eyes!