Olga Pulloffski, The Beautiful Spy
Composer(s): Lee; Weston
Performer(s): Len Bermon; Henry Hall



(Voice announcing arriving guests)

Colonel and Mrs Mango-Chutney
Major Curry of the 19th Member Force
Their Highnesses the Raja and Ranee of Mesomethuselum
Mademoiselle Olga Pulloffski

(Voice in alarm)
By Gad, get onto the War Office at once; it's Olga Pulloffski!

(Music begins)

The scene is a miltitary ballroom
The gallant and fair are the dancers
But who's the brunette
Who with eyes black as jet
Fascinates all the guards and the lancers?

She's Olga Pullofski, the beautiful spy
The gay continental rapscallion
Some say that she's Russian
And some say she's French
But her accent is gin and Italian

Shame on you, shame on you
Oh fie fie! (pronounced in a way that rhymes with "Oh high high")
Olga Pulloffski, you beautiful spy

She's waltzes around with the general
And while on the floor they go  whirling
She robs the old sport
Of the plans of the fort
And she'll sell them for ten million sterling

Olga Pullofski, the beautiful spy
Will soon make him know what disgrace is
She'll leave him with only
His top boots and spurs
And his pair of red, white and blue braces

Shame on you, shame on you
Oh fie fie!
Olga Pulloffski, you beautiful spy

(Bell chimes once)
(Voice announcing the time in ringing tones)
Twelve o'clock and all's well

(Voice echoing the other voice)
Twelve o'clock and alls weeeeeellll!!

The secrets of our Tower of London
She sold to some great foreign power
It was not Anne Boleyn
Who at midnight was seen
Walking round in the Adjective Tower

T'was Olga Pulloffski, the beautiful spy
The beefeater she bribed with kisses
Would willingly've given her all the crown jewels
But he'd lent them that night to the missus

Shame on you, shame on you
Oh fie fie!
Olga Pulloffski, you beautiful spy.

At last she was caught and courts-martialled
The Colonel said, "We hate to hurt you"
"Of course it's all rot"
"But you've got to be shot"
And she powdered her nose and said, "Good show!"

She's Olga Pulloffski, the beautiful spy.
The firing squad tenderly kissed her
Then the Captain said, "Fire!"
When the smoke cleared away
They hollered, "Hooray! We've missed her!"

She is too young and too fair to die
Olga Pulloffski, the beautiful spy

(music finishes up and then stops)
Shame on you, shame on you
Oh fie fie!
(music starts again)
Olga Pulloffski, you beautiful spy