100 Hundred Easy Ways To Lose A Man
Composer(s): Leonard Bernstein;
Betty Comden; Adolph Green
Performer(s): Betty Comden & Adolph Green



Now the first way to lose a man

You've met a charming fellow and you're out for a spin
The motor fails and he just wears a helpless grin
Don't bat your eyes and say, "what a romantic spot we're in"

Just get out, crawl under the car, tell him it's the gasket 
And fix it in two seconds flat with a bobby pin

That's a good way to lose a man

He takes you to a baseball game
You sit knee to knee
He says, "the next man up at bat will bunt, you'll see"
Don't say, "oooh, what's a bunt? this game's too hard for little me"

Just say, "bunt? are you nuts?!! with no outs, two men on base, and a
left-handed batter coming up, you'll walk right into a triple play
just like it happened in the fifth game of the world series in 1923"

That's a sure way to lose a man

A sure sure sure sure way to lose a man
A splendid way to lose a man

Just throw your knowledge in his face
he'll never try for second base
ninety-eight ways to go

The third way to lose a man
The life-guard at the beach that all the girlies adore
swims bravely out to save you through the ocean's roar
don't say, "oh, thanks, I would have drowned in just one second more"

Just push his head under water and yell, "last one in is a rotten egg"
and race him back to shore!

That's a swell way to lose a man

You've found your perfect mate and it's been love from the start
He whispers, "you're the one to who I give my heart"
Don't say, "I love you too, my dear, let's never never part"

Just say, "I'm afraid you've made a grammatical error -- it's not `to
who I give my heart,' it's `to whom I give my heart' -- you see, with
the use of the preposition `to,' `who' becomes the indirect object
making the use of `whom' imperative which i can easily show you by
drawing a simple chart"

That's a fine way to lose a man

A fine fine fine fine way to lose a man
a dandy way to lose a man

Just be more well-informed than he
you'll never hear "o, promise me"

Just show him where his grammar errs
then mark your towels "hers" and "hers"

Yes, girls, you too can lose your man
if you will use ruth sherwood's plan
one hundred easy ways to lose a man