Gather In The Mushrooms
Composer(s): Benny Hill
Performer(s): Benny Hill



Lucy went down on a farm, tried to milk a cow
Though she tried
she couldn't get the hang of it somehow
The farmer looked at Lucy and murmured with a frown
"Well you just hang on tightly, gal, and she'll jump up and down"

Chorus:
Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot
Pop 'em in the oven an serve 'em piping ho-ot

To make herself more beautiful she thought she'd bathe in milk
She said, "I'll have a bathful," to her milkman Jackie Wilke
He said, "Do you want it pasturized before I pour it in?"
She said, "No, I'll be happy if it comes up to my chin"

Chorus

The farmer called at Lucy one dark and stormy night
She said, "You are too old for me because your hair is white"
He looked into her eyes and then he knew he'd have to tell her
"There's snow upon the roof but there's a fire in the cellar!"

Chorus

She took him in the kitchen, she was his turtle dove
And then she started cooking dumplings on the stove
She wore a low cut dress, oh it was as green as clover
He jumped with glee 'cause he could see her dumplings boiling over

Chorus

She said, "You give me half a crown I will read your palm"
And then she saw his love line went half way up his arm
So now she's changed her prices, although she's just as willing
It's big fat men at two pound ten and little boys a shilling

Oh, gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot
Pop 'em in the oven and serve 'em piping hot
We're gonna gather in the mushrooms, put 'em in a pot
Pop 'em in the oven and serve them pi-ping ho-o-ot