Grow, Mrs. Goldfarb Performer(s): Allan Sherman
Grow, Mrs. Goldfarb, fatter, fatter Pile more potatoes on your platter Listen to me, 'cause I'm your hubby I just adore you plump and chubby I got a letter from the state, Dear You're gonna need a license plate, Dear My little elephant joke come true Chew, Mrs. Goldfarb, chew!
There is so much more of you More to adore you 'Cause you're not slender In your white dress you're a doll Big as the Taj Mahal In all its splendor When you're in gepartment stores Don't use the revolving doors You might get stuck, Dear When you use the telephone Go in the booth alone And lots of luck, Dear
You had for breakfast: two pounds bacon Three dozen eggs, one coffee cake and Then you had something really awful Four kippered herrings on a waffle Nine English muffins, one baked apple Boston cream pie, Philadelphia scrapple Seventeen bowls of Crispy Crunch Then you said, "What's for lunch?"
Sweetheart, you are giant size You are Lane Bryant size My darling Myrtle Last Thanksgiving I was thrilled You ate so much, you killed Your living girdle Have another dozen shrimp My lovely little blimp Don't count a calorie I just received a stub I owe the Diner's Club A whole years salary
Eat, Mrs. Goldfarb, daily, nightly Eat, though your chair is bending slightly Love of my life, I'm glad I found you Each day I take a walk around you I can't forget when we got married Over the threshold I got carried No other bride would be so sweet Eat, Mrs. Goldfarb, Eat!
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