Fruitcakes
Composer(s): Jimmy Buffett; Amy Lee
Performer(s): Jimmy Buffett



You know I was talking to my friend Desdemona the other day
She runs the space station and bait shop down near Boomtown
She told me that human beings were flawed individuals, that the cosmic
bakers took us out of the oven a little too early, and I believe it

Take for example when you go to the movies these days
They try to sell you this jumbo drink 8 extra ounces of watered down
Cherry Coke for an extra 25 cents, I don't want it 
I don't want that much organization in my life
I don't want other people thinking for me
I want my Junior Mints! Where did Junior Mints go in the movi?
I don't want a 12lb. Nestles Crunch for 25 dollars
I want Junior Mints!
We need more fruitcakes in this world
Less bakers!
We need people that care!
I'm mad as hell and I don't want to take it anymore!!

Chorus:
Fruitcakes in the kitchen
Fruitcakes on the street
Struttin' naked through the crosswalk
In the middle of the week

Halfbaked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Paradise--Lost and Found
Paradise--Take a look around

I was out in California 
Where I hear they have it all
They got riots, fires and mud slides
They got sushi in the mall
Water bars, Brontosaurs
Chinese mondern lust
Shake and bake life with the quake
The secret's in the crust

Chorus

Speaking of fruitcakes--How 'bout the government
your tax dollars at work

We lost our Martian rocket ship
The high paid spokeman said
Looks like that silly rocket ship 
Has lost its cone-shaped head

We spend ninety jillion dollars
Trying to get a look at Mars
I hear universal laughter 
Ringin out among the stars

Fruitcakes in the galaxy
Fruitcakes on the earth
Struttin' naked towards eternity
We've been that way since birth

Half baked cookies in the oven
Half baked people on the bus
There's a little bit of fruitcake left in everyone of us

Religion, religion 
Oh there's a thin line between Saturday night and Sunday morning
Here we go now
All right altar boys

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa
Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa

Where's the church, who took the steeple
Religion's in the hands of some crazy ass people
Television preachers with bad hair and dimples
The God's honest truth is it's not that simple

It's the Buddhist in you 
It's the Pagan in me
It's the Muslim in him, she's Catholic ain't she?
It's the born again look, it's the WASP and the Jew
Tell me what's goin on I ain't got a clue

Here come the big ones--Relationships--We all got 'em, we all want 'em
What do we do with 'em?

Here we go I'll tell ya
She said you've got to do your fair share
Now cough up half the rent
I treat my body like a temple
You treat yours like a tent

But the right word at the right time
May get me a little hug
That's the difference between lighting 
And a harmless lightning bug

Chorus

The future--Captain's log--Star date 2000 and sometin'

We're seven years from the millenium
That's a science fiction fact
Stanley Kubrick and his buddy Hal
Now don't look that abstract

So I'll put on my Bob Marley tape 
And practice what I preache
Get Jah lost in the reggae mon
As I walk along the beach

Stay in touch with my insanity
Really is the only way
It's a jungle out there kiddies
Have a very fruitful day

Chorus

That's right 
You too 
Those crumbs are spread all around this universe 
I've seen fruitcakes 
I saw this guy in Santa Monica roller skate naked thru the crosswalk 
Down in New Orleans, in the French market there are fruitcakes like you cannot believe 
New York, forget it, fruitcake city
Down island we got fruitcakes 
Spread them crumbs around 
That's right 
We want 'em around 
Keep bakin' baby, keep bakin'!