Jacques, A Penniless French Mouse
Performer(s): Captain Beaky



A penniless French mouse, called Jacques 
In beret, boots and belted Mac... 
Strolled idly down an empty drain 
Protected against the wind and the rain 

When from a grating in the street 
A cigarette fell at his feet 
And in surprise he cried, "Mon Dieu! 
"It is my favourite brand, Disque Bleu" 

"Ma foi - these are tres bon" he said 
Inhaling deep, the end glowed red 
A smell he thought was just a drain 
Was gas escaping from the main 

Le grande explosion! Au revoir Jacques 
In beret, boots and belted mac... 
And now he has gone to the great mousehole in the sky 
Where mountains of bleu cheese stretch away 
As far as the eye can see... 

"Excuse moi?" 
"Oui?" 
"Which way to the Rocquefort, s'il vous plait?"