Polka Dot Undies
Performer(s): Dr. Demento



Well, I went for a drive in my pickup truck
I picked up my girl, 'cause I wanted to
Show her my gloves, 'cause she had on her mitts
And I blushed brightly when she showed me her
Perfume that she buys whenever Avon calls
So I took off my pants, and I showed her my
Polka-dot undies!
My polka-dot undies!

Yeah, my polka-dot undies from Miracle Mart
I said, "Look, be careful, I think I'm gonna
Turn a sharp corner, and go up on the grass"
She leaned out the window, and I thought I saw her
Pointing to something that flashed by real quick
She said, "Hey, look at that! 
It looks just like your
Polka-dot undies!"
Polka-dot undies!

Yeah, my polka-dot undies that I wear back-to-front
She smiled and she said, "Have you seen my Brother's new car? 
The one that he stole?"
Then she asked me to look up her
Whole damn family, and I went into shock
When I found out it was her sister who really liked 
Polka-dot undies!
Polka-dot undies!
Yeah!

Well, I took her out to dinner, but on one thing she was firm
She'd swallow almost anything, except for
Stories that her brother didn't like birds
But hung around leather bars, and liked to eat
Fish and chips, and he still sucked his thumb
I said, "I don't mind!" 
And she kissed me on my
Polka-dot undies!
My polka-dot undies!

I kissed her softly, and I said, "I'll tell you what
Let's roll up the windows, and I'll eat your
Last bar of chocolate - the one that's in the parcel"
She said, "No, no, no", and she called me a Taxi 
And I said, "I beg your pardon!
But get me home real fast before I lose my
Polka-dot undies!"
Polka-dot undies!

The moral of this story, like a jewel it is gleamin'
But you'll never find it in a glass of warm
Milk or tea, 'cause it will not fit
And you probably already think I am full of
Vague innuendos and double-meanin' rhymes
But I'll tell you that obscenity is all in your
Polka-dot undies!
Your polka-dot undies!
Yeah, your edible undies!
Your polka-dot undies!
Yeah!