Hello! Boys, I'm Back Again
Composer(s): Harry Von Tilzer
Performer(s): Dan W. Quinn



Hello boys remember when I said goodbye to you
I got married but it didn't take and I am through
Though love is blind my eyes were opened on my wedding day
I found that she had seven kids and each one had his day
When the preacher made us one she thought
She was the one and I was just a nun

Hello boys, I'm back again
You know how glad I am to meet you greet you
I'm through with matrimony
I'm dodging alimony
Hip hooray, say, the world began today
For I don't have to go to bed at nine
With her icy feet upon my spine
No more sneaking home at three
Going through the third degree
Hello boys, I'm back again

I have lived a dog's life since my wedding day you see
Yes they must have handed out a dog license to me
Instead of wedding cake I must have eaten lemon pie
I had her life insured but just for spite she wouldn't die
She missed me round the house at eight
But never missed me when she threw a plate

Hello boys, I'm back again
You know how glad I am to meet you greet you
I'm through with matrimony
I'm dodging alimony
Hip hooray, say, the world began today
For I fed chickens that would lay for me
And I also fed her family
I can pick a chicken too
Not the kind that lay for you
Hello boys, I'm back again

Home sweet home, a grand old song, I sing it when I can
But the guy who wrote it never was a married man
I used to stay at home all day and hold her hand you see
For if I didn't hold it she'd let something fly at me
One day her mother came with us to dwell
The landlord raised the rent and I raised, well

Hello boys, I'm back again
You know how glad I am to meet you greet you
I'm through with matrimony
Those wedding bells are phony
Hip hooray, say, the world began today
No more commuting to that old resort
Where henpecking was my indoor sport
If some chicken's in distress
You can give her my adress
Hello boys, I'm back again