Home Was Never Like This
Composer(s): A. Seymour Brown; Albert Gumble



Hiram was a farmer from way up the state 
He came to the city and thought it was great 
He brought his bank-roll and his best Sunday suit 
And when he doll'd all up 
Oh! he was cute! 
Hiram met a stranger, one night on Broadway 
And of course she took him in to a cafe 
People dancing there 
Hiram said, "I declare! 
That's my middle, ding bust it!"

Hiram said, "I'm out just to have a good time 
I don't care for money so "zip" goes a dime! 
I'll send a wire up home and tell them right now 
If you are short of change why just sell a cow!" 
Ev'ry time the music would give him a chance 
Hiram grab'd a chicken and started to dance 
He'd yell "This is great!" 
I'll learn to hesitate 
If I break a leg, by golly!"

Come on and dance with me 
Come on and dance with me 
I feel as young as a boy! 
I want to learn each gol darn step that they do
Teach me ev'ry one that is new! 
I want to learn the whirls 
Dance with the pretty girls 
Don't mind the steps that I miss 

I'll get it! 
Here's where I'm going to stay 
I'll give the farm away
Home was never like this!