Hooray For Captain Spaulding
Composer(s): Bert Kalmar; Harry Ruby
Performer(s): Groucho Marx, Zeppo Marx, 
Margaret Dumont & Chorus



(All)
At last we are to meet him
The famous Captain Spaulding
From climates hot and scalding
The Captain has arrived

Most heartily we'll greet him
With plain and fancy cheering
Until he's hard of hearing
The Captain has arrived
At last - The Captain has arrived

(Hives)
Mr. Horatio W. Jamison, Field Secretary to Captain Spaulding

(Jamison)
I represent the Captain who insists on my informing you of these conditions under which he camps here
In one thing he is very strict, he wants his women young and picked and as for men 
he won't have any tramps here

(All)
As for men he won't have any tramps here
There must be no tramps

(Jamison)
The men must all be very old
The women warm, the champagne cold
It's under these conditions that he camps here

(Voice off Screen)
I'm announcing Captain Jeffery Spaulding

(All)
He's announcing Captain Jeffery Spaulding

Oh dear, he is coming
At last he's here

(Spaulding)
Hello, I must be going
I cannot stay, I came to say, I must be going
I'm glad I came, but just the same I must be going
La La

(Mrs. Rittenhouse)
For my sake you must stay
If you should go away
You'd spoil this party I am throwing

(Spaulding)
I'll stay a week or two
I'll stay the summer thru
But I am telling you
I must be going

(All)
Before you go
Will you oblige us
And tell us of your deeds so glowing?

(Spaulding)
I'll do anything you say
In fact I'll even stay!

(All)
Good!

(Spaulding)
But I must be going

(Jamison)
There's something that I'd like to say
That he's too modest to relay
The Captain is a moral man
Sometimes he finds it trying

(Spaulding)
This fact I emphasize with stress
I never take a drink unless - Somebody's buying

(All)
The Captain is a very moral man

(Jamison)
If he hears anything obscene 
He'll naturally repel it

(Spaulding)
I hate a dirty joke I do
Unless it's told by someone who 
Knows how to tell it

(All)
The Captain is a very moral man
Hooray for Captain Spaulding 
The African explorer

(Spaulding)
Did someone call me Shnorrer?

(All)
Hooray, Hooray, Hooray

(Jamison)
He went into the jungle where all the monkeys throw nuts

(Spaulding)
If I stay here I'll go nuts

(All)
Hooray, Hooray, Hooray
He put all his reliance 
In courage and defiance
And risked his life for science

(Spaulding)
Hey, hey

(Mrs. Rittenhouse)
You are the only white man to cover every acre

(Spaulding)
I think I'll try and make her

(All)
Hooray, Hooray, Hooray
He put all his reliance 
In courage and defiance
And risked his life for science

(Spaulding)
Hey, hey

(All)
Hooray for Captain Spaulding 
The African explorer
He brought his name undying fame
And that is why we say 
Hooray, Hooray, Hooray

(Spaulding attempts to speak)
My friends, I am highly gratified at this magnificent display of effusion and I want you to know.........

(All)
Hooray for Captain Spaulding 
The African explorer
He brought his name undying fame
And that is why we say 
Hooray, Hooray, Hooray

(Spaulding)
My friends, I am highly gratified at this magnificent display of effusion and I want you to know.........

Hooray for Captain Spaulding 
The African big hero..... 

Well, somebody's got to do it!