Wet Dream
Composer(s): Kip Addotta; Biff Manard
Performer(s): Kip Addotta



It was April the 41st - it being a quadruple leap year
and I was driving in downtown Atlantis
My Barracuda was in the shop so I was driving a red Stingray 
and it was overheating, so I pulled into a Shell station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said, "Fix the damn thing and leave my private life out of it, okay?"

While they were doing that I went across the street to the Oyster Bar - real dive
But I knew the owner, Gill, 'cause he used to play ball the Dolphins
I said, "Hi,Gill!" - you have to yell, he's hard of herring

So I bellied up the sand bar, ordered a Rusty Snail, hold the grunion
with a peanut butter and jelly fish sandwich on the side, heavy on the maco
I was feeling good
I even dropped a sand dollar in the box for Jerry's Squids, for the halibut

Well, the place was crowded
We were packed in like sardines
They were probably there to hear the Big Band sounds of Tommy Dorsil
He was rockin' the place with a very popular tuna: Salmon-chanted Evening 
and the stage was surrounded by screaming groupers - probably there to see the bass player

Well, one of them was this cute little yellow tail, and she's givin' me the eye
So I figured this was my chance for a little fun - you know, piece of Pisces... 
but she said things I just couldn't fathom, she was too deep 
seemed to be under a lot of pressure
And boy could she drink
She drank like a... she drank a lot

And then she gives me that same old line, "Not tonight, I gotta haddock" 
And she wasn't kiddin' either, 'cause in walked the biggest, meanest lookin' haddock 
I'd ever seen come down the pike
He was covered with muscles
He said, "Hey, shrimp, don't you come trollin' around here"
I said, "Abalone, you're just bein' shelfish"

Well, I could tell there was gonna be trouble and so could Gill 
'cause he was already on the phone to the cods
The haddock hit me with a sucker punch
I landed him with a left hook
He eeled over
It was a fluke, but there he was lying on the deck flat as a mackerel

I said, "Forget the cods, Gill, this guy's gonna need a sturgeon" 
Well, the yellow tail was pretty impressed with the way I landed her boyfriend
She said, "Hey, big buoy, you're really a game fish
What's your name?" I said..., "Marlin"

After that we had a whale of a time
I took her to dinner
I took her to dance 
I even bought her a bouquet of flounders, on porpoise
And what did I get for my troubles? 
A case of the clams