What It Was, Was Football
Composer(s): Andy Griffith
Performer(s): Andy Griffith



It was back last October, I believe it was
We was going to hold a tent service off at this college town
and we got there about dinner time on Saturday
Different ones of us thought that we ought to get us a mouthful to eat 
before we set up the tent
So we got off the truck and followed this little bunch of people
through this small little bitty patch of woods there
and we came up on a big sign that says 
"Get something to Eat Here"

I went up and got me two hot dogs and a big orange drink
and before I could take a mouthful of that food
this whole raft of people come up around me 
and got me to where I couldn't eat nothing, up like
and I dropped my big orange drink
Well, friends, they commenced to move 
and there wasn't so much that I could do but move with them

Well, we commenced to go through all kinds of doors and gates and I don't know what all
and I looked up over one of 'em and it says, "North Gate"
We kept on a-going through there 
and pretty soon we come up on a young boy and he says, "Ticket, please"
And I says, "Friend, I don't have a ticket
I don't even know where it is that I'm a-going!"
Well, he says, "Come on out as quick as you can"
And I says, "I'll do 'er; I'll turn right around the first chance I get"

Well, we kept on a-moving through there
and pretty soon everybody got where it was that they was a-going
because they parted and I could see pretty good
And what I seen was this whole raft of people a-sittin' on these two banks
and a-lookin at one another across this pretty little green cow pasture

Somebody had took and drawed white lines all over it and drove posts in it
and I don't know what all
and I looked down there and I seen five or six convicts a running up and down
and a-blowing whistles 
And then I looked down there and I seen these pretty girls 
wearin' these little bitty short dresses
and a-dancing around, and so I thought I'd sit down 
and see what it was that was a-going to happen

About the time I got set down good I looked down there
and I seen thirty or forty men come a-runnin' out of one end 
of a great big outhouse down there
and everybody where I was a-settin' got up and hollered!
And I asked this fella that was a sittin' beside of me
"Friend, what is it that they're a-hollerin' for?
Well, he whopped me on the back and he says
"Buddy, have a drink!" I says
"Well, I believe I will have another big orange
I got it and set back down

When I got there again I seen 
that the men had got in two little bitty bunches down there
real close together, and they voted
They elected one man apiece
and them two men come out in the middle of that cow pasture
and shook hands like they hadn't seen one another in a long time
Then a convict came over to where they was a-standin'
and he took out a quarter and they commenced to odd man right there!
After a while I seen what it was they was odd-manning for
It was that both bunchesfull of them wanted this funny lookin little pumpkin to play with
And I know, friends, that they couldn't eat it because they kicked it the whole evenin'
and it never busted

Both bunchesful wanted that thing
One bunch got it and it made the other bunch just as mad as they could be!
Friends, I seen that evenin' the awfulest fight that I ever have seen in all my life !!
They would run at one -another and kick one- another
and throw one another down and stomp on one another
and grind their feet in one another and I don't know what all 
and just as fast as one of 'em would get hurt
they'd take him off and run another one on!!

Well, they done that as long as I set there, but pretty soon this boy that had said
"Ticket, please." He come up to me and said
"Friend, you're gonna have to leave because it is that you don't have a ticket"
And I says, "Well, all right" 
And I got up and left

I don't know friends, to this day 
what it was that they was a doin' down there, but I have studied about it
I think it was that it's some kindly of a contest 
where they see which bunchful of them men can take that pumpkin 
and run from one end of that cow pasture to the other 
without gettin' knocked down or steppin' in somethin'