Wild Women
Composer(s): Benny Hill
Performer(s): Benny Hill



Now I don't want you folks to misconstrue
What I'm about to say to you
But I'm gonna tell you about the women in my life
Now I know some gals who are real refined
But I always seem to get the other kind
And maybe that's why I've never found a wife

Now I used to know a gal in Crewe
She was five foot two and eyes of blue
And, well she told me that her name was Lotty
But I think she was funny in the head 
'cause she used to sleep underneath the bed
Her parents thought she was a little potty

But I kind of liked the way she'd smile 
So I went around with her for a while
And I kind of thought of her as my bride to be
I said, "You're the one girl in my life 
And I'd like to have you for my wife"
She said, "Now what would your wife do with me?"

Chorus:
Beware of wild women, those wild, wild women
Those wild, wild women around
Beware of wild women, those wild, wild women
And never ever let 'em get you down

One day I met a movie star
She was just getting out of her Rolls Royce car
And she was all covered in diamonds and mink
Now I kind of liked a gal with money
And this one, well, she was a real honey
So I said, "Maybe one day you and I could have a little drink"

She said, "You're just my kind of man" 
She stuck a phone number in my hand
She said, "Now phone me up next time that you're in town"
I said, "Is this your penthouse," she said, "No
It's the fish and chip shop down below
But you just phone me up and they'll call me down"

Chorus

Now I was in a Chelsea bar one day
And there was a chap stood about five feet away
And we was both admiring a girl about twenty-one
I said, "You just can't help but stare 
At that cute little chick with the long blonde hair"
He said, "That chick just happens to be my son"

I said, "I didn't mean to offend
You must let me make amends
I mean at least let me buy you another rum
I said, "You must think me an awful cad
I didn't know you was his dad"
He said, "I'm not, you twit, I'm his mum"

Chorus

And never ever let 'em get you dow-ow-ow-ow-own