Deteriorata!
Composer(s): Christopher Guest - Tony Hendra
Performer(s): National Lampoon; Norman Rose



You are a fluke
Of the universe
You have no right to be here...
Deteriorata! Deteriorata!
Go placidly
Amid the noise and waste
And remember what comfort there may be
In owning a piece thereof
Avoid quiet and passive persons
Unless you are in need of sleep
Ro-tate your tires
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
And heed well their advice
Even though they be turkeys
Know what to kiss... and when!
Consider that two wrongs never make a right
But that three... do
Wherever possible, put people on hold
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment
And despite the changing fortunes of time
There is always a big future in computer maintenance
You are a fluke
Of the universe
You have no right to be here
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back
Remember the Pueblo
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate
Know yourself
If you need help, call the FBI
Exercise caution in your daily affairs
Especially with those persons closest to you
That lemon on your left, for instance
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet
Fall not in love therefore
It will stick to your face
Gracefully surrender the things of youth
The birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan
And let not the sands of time
Get in your lunch
Hire people with hooks
For a good time call 606-4311
Ask for "Ken"
Take heart amid the deepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese
And reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot
It could only be worse in Milwaukee
You are a fluke
Of the universe
You have no right to be here
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back
Therefore, make peace with your god
Whatever you conceive him to be
Hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin
With all its hopes, dreams, promises and urban renewal
The world continues to deteriorate
Give up!
You are a fluke
Of the universe
You have no right to be here
And whether you can hear it or not
The universe is laughing behind your back