Big Five
Composer(s): Andy Hughes; Lemon
Performer(s): Judge Dread



There was an old sailor‚ who sat on a rock
Waving and shaking his big hairy...

Fist at the ladies next door in The Ritz
Who taught all the children to play with their...

Ice-creams and marbles and all things galore
Along comes a lady who looks like a...

Decent young woman‚ who walks like a duck
She said she's invented a new way to...

Bring up the children‚ to sew and to knit
The boys in the stable are shovelling...

Litter and paper‚ from yesterday's hunt
And old dirty Dread is having some...

Cake in the parlour‚ and singing this song
If you think it's dirty‚ you're bloody well wrong!

Susan was a nice girl‚ with plenty of class
Who turned the boys' heads when she wiggled her...

Eyes at the young boys‚ as girls sometimes do
To make it quite plain she was ready to...

Go for a walk‚ or a stroll in the grass
Then hurry back home for a nice piece of...

Chicken and ice-cream‚ and lots of roast duck
And after this meal‚ she was ready to...

Go for a walk‚ or a stroll on the dock
With any young boy with a sizeable...

Roll of big bills‚ and a pretty good front
And if he talked softly‚ she'd show him her...

Little pet dog‚ who is subject to fits
And maybe let him grab a hold of her...

Little white hand‚ with a moment so quick
That she would lean over and tickle his...

Chin‚ while she showed what she once learned in France
And ask the poor chap to take up his under...

Pants‚ while she sang of the wild Kneesdon shore
Oh‚ whatever she was

She wasn't a bad girl really‚ this Susan
I've had better‚ but mind you‚ she wasn't that bad