Brahn Boots
Composer(s): R.P. Weston; Bert Lee
Performer(s): Stanley Holloway



Our Aunt Hanna's passed away
We 'ad her funeral today
And it was a posh affair 
Had to have two p'licemen there! 

The 'earse was luv'ly, all plate glass
And wot a corfin!... oak and brass! 
We'd fah-sands weepin', flahers galore 
But Jim, our cousin... what d'yer fink 'e wore? 

Why, brahn boots! 
I ask yer... brahn boots! 
Fancy coming to a funeral 
In brahn boots!

I will admit 'e 'ad a nice black tie
Black fingernails and a nice black eye
But yer can't see people orf when they die
In brahn boots! 

And Aunt 'ad been so very good to 'im
Done all that any muvver could for 'im
And Jim, her son, to show his clars... 
Rolls up to make it all a farce

In brahn boots... 
I ask yer... brahn boots! 
While all the rest
Wore decent black and mourning suits

I'll own he didn't seem so gay
In fact he cried most part the way
But straight, he reg'lar spoilt our day
Wiv 'is brahn boots

In the graveyard we left Jim
None of us said much to him 
Yus, we all gave 'im the bird
Then by accident we 'eard ...

'E'd given 'is black boots to Jim Small
A bloke wot 'ad no boots at all
So p'raps Aunt Hanna doesn't mind
She did like people who was good and kind

But brahn boots! 
I ask yer... brahn boots! 
Fancy coming to a funeral
In brahn boots! 

And we could 'ear the neighbours all remark 
"What, 'im chief mourner? Wot a blooming lark!
"Why 'e looks more like a Bookmaker's clerk... 
In brahn boots!" 

That's why we 'ad to be so rude to 'im
That's why we never said "Ow do!" to 'im
We didn't know... he didn't say
He'd give 'is other boots away 

But brahn boots!
I ask yer... brahn boots! 
While all the rest
Wore decent black and mourning suits! 

But some day up at Heavens gate
Poor Jim, all nerves, will stand and wait
'til an angel whispers... "Come in, Mate 
"Where's yer brahn boots?"