Mr. Apollo
Composer(s): Vivian Stanshall; Neil Innes
Performer(s): The Bonzo Dog Band



I have seen Mr. Apollo uproot trees with his bare hands
I have seen Mr. Apollo's body-building plan
He's the strongest man the world has ever seen
And if you take his courses, he'll make you big and rough
And-- and you can beat up bullies until they cry
"oh lor'! 
Oh, crikey let go, you rotter 
Don't punish me!"

And you're tough (You're very fit)
Your voice is gruff (It sounds like grit)
You are so strong (and proud of it)
Thanks to Mr. Apollo
Follow Mr. Apollo
Everybody knows he's the greatest benefactor of mankind
Follow Mr. Apollo
Everybody knows that a healthy body makes a healthy mind

You know
He's the strongest man the world has ever seen
And if you take his courses, he'll make you big and rough
And-- you can kick the sand right back in their faces 
Kick! (laugh)

Chorus

(Chorus In Background)
Yes 
Just give me ten years of your life 
and I'll trade in that puny flab for living muscle 
The physique you deserve! 
Strong
Chesty shoulders to hold your shirt up (He can do it for you)
Five years ago, I was a four-stone apology 
Today, I am two separate gorillas 
No tiresome excercises 
No tricks 
No unpleasant bending 
Wrestle poodles and win! 
Play beachball!
Shave your legs (Yes, he can do it for you)
Knock over walls 
Tease people! 
Brush them aside as though they were matchsticks 
Impress your friends