Mr. Goldstone
Composer(s): Jule Styne; Stephen Sondheim
Performer(s): Bette Middler
and various other artists



Herbie: 
Rose, this is Mr. Goldstone
Momma Rose 
Have an eggroll, Mr. Goldstone
Have a napkin, have a chopstick, have a chair
Have a spare rib, Mr. Goldstone
Any spare that I can spare I'll be glad to share! 

Have a dish, have a fork, have a fish, have a pork
Put your feet up 
Feel at home
Have a smoke, have a Coke
Would you like to hear a joke? 
I'll have June recite a poem! 

Have a leechie, Mr. Goldstone
Tell me any little thing that I can do
Ginger peachy, Mr. Goldstone
Have a kumquat, have two! 
Everybody give a cheer
Santa Claus is sitting here
Mr. Goldstone I love you! 

Have a Goldstone, Mr. Eggroll
Tell me any little thing that I can do
Have some fried rice, Mr. Soy Sauce 
Have a cookie, have a few! 
What's the matter, Mr. G? 
Have another pot of tea
Mr. Goldstone I love you! 

Herbie
There are good stones and bad stones and curbstones 
and gladstones and touchstones and such stones as them 

Rose: 
There are big stones and small stones and grind stones and gall stones

All: 
but Goldstone is a gem! 

There are milestones, there are mill stones
There's a cherry, there's a yellow, there's a blue
But we don't want any old stone, only Goldstone will do! 
Moon stones, sun stones
We all scream for one stone
Mr. Goldstone we love you! 
Goldstone!