Mr. Jaws
Composer(s): Bill Ramal
Performer(s): Dickie Goodman



We are here on the beach 
where a giant shark has just eaten a girl swimmer
Well Mr. Jaws, how was it? 
"Dynomite"
And what did she say when you grabbed her?
"Please Mr. Please"
I know sharks are stupid, but what did you think when you took that first bite?
"How sweet it is"
Mr. Jaws, before you swim out to sea, have you anything else to say?
"Why can't we be friends, why can't we be friends?"
With me now is the local sheriff
Sheriff Brody, the shark will be back for lunch 
What do you intend to do?
"Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight"
Just arriving is oceanographer Matt Hooper
Sir, if someone is attacked by a shark, what should they do?
"Do the hustle"
We are going aboard the fishing boat of Captain Quint
Captain, will you be able to catch this giant shark?
"I will", "I will", "I will" (thank you, captain) "I will" (captain!) 
"I will" (captain!) "I will" (captain!)
When you catch one of these sharks, what do you feel like?
"Like a Rhinestone Cowboy"
We've just sighted the shark again 
He's coming straight for us.
Captain Quint is shouting something at him
"Get you baby one of these nights"
Hey Jaws, the captain says he's going to catch you
What do you think of that?
"Jive talkin'"
Uh-oh, here he comes again!

They've hit him! 
Mr. Jaws, why doesn't anything seem to hurt you?
"Big boys don't cry, big boys don't cry"
He's coming right onto the boat! 
Mr. Jaws, why are you grabbing my hand?
"Wouldn't you give your hand to a friend?"
No wait! Mr. Jaws! 
That's not the way this record is supposed to end! 
Help! Help!