My Wife Is On A Diet Composer(s): Charles Tobias; George J. Bennett Performer(s): Leslie Sarony; Eddie Cantor; Hoosier Hot Shots
Whats the greatest problem now throughout the land Whats the only problem needs a helping hand It isnt Philip Snowden, or tax relief I find Its something more important now on everybodys mind Just walk into any home today Its ten to one youll hear each husband say
My wife is on a diet, and since shes on a diet Home isnt home any more No gravy and potatoes, just lettuce and tomatoes Where are the pies I adore Oh, oh, oh, oh, what a disgrace Im ashamed to look a grapefruit straight in the face My wife is on a diet, and since shes on a diet Im losing a pound every day
Monday, grapefruit, breakfast and for dinner And at night some orange juice Tuesday, grapefruit, boys I growing thinner All my clothes are getting loose Wednesday, Thursday, I feel satisfied Then I change to coffee, with grapefruit on the side Friday till Sunday is more than I can stand Before the eighteenth day Ill have a lily in my hand
My wife is on a diet, and since shes on a diet Home isnt home any more No gravy and potatoes, just lettuce and tomatoes Where are the pies I adore Crabs and shrimps I must leave alone Im the only lobster shell allow in my home My wife is on a diet, and since shes on a diet Shes gaining a pound every day
Oh, oh, oh, shes driving me wild One look at her onions and I cry like a child
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