Vasectomy
Composer(s): Larry Heagle
Performer(s): The Limeliters



Well, I went to see my Doctor
I said, "Doc, I can't pay my bills!
The rent's all spent
The truck's got a dent
And I think I'm gettin' the chills
From being forced to sleep alone
You see this house just ain't no home
I can't afford no kids
My life is on the skids
'Cause my woman says
"Leave me alone
Unless you get a vasectomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Just one little male alteration
Can keep us from another altercation!
Get a vasectomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Oh what a vas deferens there could be!"

Well, the next thing I know
I'm laying on a table 
With a light shinin' in my eyes!
They strapped my wrists
They strapped my ankles
And they double-strapped my thighs!

The nurses were a gigglin' 
And I was a wigglin'
Most uncomfortably
When the Doc walked in
With a perverted grin
And here's what he said to me

"It only hurts 
For a little while
That's what they tell me
That's what they say!"

Oooeeeiy! Ooooh! Aiiiy Oh!

Well, it's two weeks later
And I feel a little better
My mind is more at ease
The rent's still spent
The truck's got a dent
But my woman's no longer a tease!

And even down at the office
There is a lot more interest in me
The girls all grin when I walk in!
And brother, they mean to please
A man with a vasectomy
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Like a sun-kissed orange
I've been squeezed
'Cause its all juice and there's no seed!

Well, a vasectomy!
You ought to get a vasectomy!
Oh what a vas deferens!
It's beginnin' to make a little sense!
Oh what a vas deferens there could...'

Here is the part that I like the most,
It takes the danger out of bein' close!

Oh what a vas deferens there could..

They snip those little suckers right in two 
And clamp 'em of with super-glue!

Oh what a vas deferens there could be!