Crabs Walk Sideways
Composer(s): Barry Resnick
Performer(s): The Smothers Brothers



Herman met Sally on the beach one night
The sea was calm and the starfish were bright
She looked at him and he looked at her it was true love at first sight

Well, Herman told his folks about the girl that he found
They said
"Herman there must be other girls around 
'Cause crabs walk sideways, lobsters walk straight and 
We won't let you take her for your mate"

Crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight
And you can't take a crab for your mate

Well, Herman told his Sally and it broke her heart
She loved that lobster right from the start
He took her in his claws and said "I'll always be yours
But still, dear, we'll have to part"

Crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight
And you can't take a crab for your mate

She said, "Let me talk to your mom and dad
I'll show them crabs really aren't that bad"
But they turned her away
"What will the neighbors say"
And they laughted at the funny walk she had

Crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight
And you can't take a crab for your mate

Then one day on the sandbar what did Herman see
But his little ol' Sally walking straight as can be
He said, "Sweetheart now they'll take you in the family!"
She said, "Don't you sweetheart me! Hic!"

Crabs walk sideways and lobsters walk straight
And you can't take a crab for your mate