Crunchin' Walnuts With My Teeth
Composer(s): Shel Silverstein
Performer(s): Shel Silverstein



Ever since I been a little child
I been crunchin' walnuts with my teeth
And that accounts for my unusual smile
I been crunchin' walnuts with my teeth
And while other kids was goin' to school
Learnin' 'bout tools and learnin' 'bout rules
I was sittin' by myself, playin' it cool
Just crunchin' walnuts with my teeth

Well, I met a little girl at the general store
While I was crunchin' walnuts with my teeth
She said, "I see you're the one for me"
So we went and got married immediately
I spent my honeymoon romantically
Crunchin' walnuts with my teeth

Now one night as I was returnin' to my house
I was crunchin' walnuts with my teeth
I heard some fella, he was lovin' my spouse
While I was crunchin' walnuts with my teeth
And I peeked in the window and he come into view
He weighed three hundred pounds, stood seven foot two
So I did what any red-blooded American boy would do
Crunched a walnut with my teeth

Now my whole lifelong philosophy
Is crunch a walnut with your teeth
Just think how happy the world would be
If we all crunched walnuts with our teeth
And we'd all sit around in the middle of the floor
A-crunchin' and a-munchin' like we never did before
And you know nobody's gonna go to war
Crunchin' walnuts with their teeth