One More Minute
Composer(s): Al Yankovic
Performer(s): Weird Al Jankovic



Well I heard that you're leaving
Gonna leave me far behind
'Cause you found a brand new lover
You decided that I'm not your kind

So I pulled your name out of my Rolladex
And I tore all your pictures in two
And I burned down the malt shop where we used to go
Just because it reminds me of you

That's right, you ain't gonna see me crying
I'm glad that you found somebody new
'Cause I'd rather spend eternity eating shards of broken glass
Than spend one more minute with you

I guess I may seem kinda bitter
You got me feeling down in the dumps
'Cause I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love
And I have to use the self-service pumps

Oh, so honey, let me help you with that suitcase
You ain't gonna break my heart in two
'Cause I'd rather get a hundred thousand paper cuts on my face
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip out my intestines with a fork
Than watch you going out with other men
I'd rather slam my fingers in a door
Again, and again, and again, and again, and again

Oh, can't you see what I'm trying to say, darlin'
I'd rather have my blood sucked out by leeches
Shove an ice-pick under a toe nail or two
I'd rather clean all the bathrooms
In Grand Central Station, with my tongue
Than spend one more minute with you

Yes, I'd rather dive naked
On a huge pile of thumb tacks
Or stick my nostrils together with Krazy-Glue
I'd rather dive in a swimming pool
Filled with double-edged razor blades
Than spend one more minute with you

I'd rather rip my heart right out
Of my ribcage with my bare hands
And throw it on the floor
And stomp on it till I die
Than spend one more minute with you