I'm My Own Grandpaw (aka I'm My Own Grandmaw)
Composer(s): Moe Jaffe; Dwight Latham
Performer(s): Lonzo & Oscar
and multiple other artists



It sounds funny, I know
But it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpa

I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny, I know
But it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpa

Now many, many years ago, when I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow who was pretty as could be
This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her, and soon they, too, were wed

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life
My daughter was my mother, cause she was my father's wife
To complicate the matter, even though it brought me joy
I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad
And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad
For if he was my uncle, then that also made him brother
Of the widow's grown-up daughter, who, of course, was my stepmother

Father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run
And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son
My wife is now my mother's mother, and it makes me blue
Because, although she is my wife, she's my grandmother, too

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild
And everytime I think of it, it nearly drives me wild
For now I have become the strangest case you ever saw
As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa!

I'm my own grandpa
I'm my own grandpa
It sounds funny, I know, but it really is so
Oh, I'm my own grandpa