That Noise
Composer(s): Leslie Bricusse; Anthony Newley
Performer(s): Anthony Newley



Can you hear it, that noise? 
It’s been driving me potty all day

I woke up this morning in my usual lively way
Peeped out from the bedclothes at another dreary day
Feeling full of fun, I threw the alarm clock at the cat
Turned over and went back to sleep and thought that that was that

But it wasn’t, it was ‘that’

I yawned and stretched and scratched a bit
Then tumbled out of bed
But still I felt this rhythm sorta pounding in my head
I thought, well, this is funny, but it can’t go on all day
I think I’ll just ignore it, then it’s bound to go away

Have you ever had one of those days when nothing seems to go right?

I started out to work and met the postman on his round
I said, Good morning postman, can you hear that funny sound?
He listened and he said, d’you mean that *>#^%$# noise?
I said, that’s right
He said, that’s funny, I can’t hear a thing
Have you ever tried to push a postman through a letterbox? 
It’s not easy

I went up to a policeman
I said, can you hear that noise?
He looked at me as if I was a gang o’ Teddy boys
I said, you should arrest it for disturbing people’s peace
He said 
All right, my lad, move on before I call the police!

Have you ever tried to push a policeman through a letterbox?
It’s all right till you get up to his boots

I went to see a wise man who said, leave it all to me!
I’ll analyse the noise for only twice my normal fee
He came back three days later, and said
It’s tricky to explain
In fact, I don’t know what it is but there it goes again

Have you ever tried to push a wise man through twice his normal fee?
It’s all right until you get up to his letterbox
No, that can’t be right

I went down to the studios to record my latest hit
A sentimental ballad that I thought was full of potential
But every time I tried to sing this very lovely song
This funny noise keeps starting up and makes me go all wrong

But I’m not gonna be beaten by it
I’m gonna record this hit ballad if it kills me
Because it’s a very pretty tune

“What kind of fool am I, who never...
Give me an A, will you, Ian?
Lovely…
What kind of fool am I, who never fell-in…(plays note twice more)
Who never…fell-in-love…”

Will you please try and stop that noise
Will somebody please try and stop that noise