Lewis And Clark
Composer(s): Bill Fries; Chip Davis
Performer(s): C.W. McCall



Now Arnie Jones and Marybeth Jensen's in a 'vette down by the depot
Had John Denver on 8-track, gettin' high
Marybeth's wig was on the floor and Arnold's feet was out the door
When we shined our flashlight in Arnold's startled eyes
I says, "What you doin' boy? Don't you know that's against the law?
We just gonna have to get this situation under control
Now my name's Fairweather Lewis and this here's Willard Clark
And we the Pottawattamie County love patrol"

Then two hippies in their Chevy's, puffin' grass and sippin' wine
'Bout fourteen miles south-east of Council Bluffs
They was passin' round the peacepipe when we caught 'em with our flashlight
And Willard's hairy hands applied the cuffs
And I says, "Boys, you got some trouble, you commitin' herbicide
We just gonna have to get this situation under control
'Cause I'm Fairweather Lewis and this here's Willard Clark
And we the Pottawattamie County weed patrol"

Then we spied ol' Marvin Kline a-headin' south on twenty-nine
Like a midnight auto accessory store on wheels
His trunk was full of hub caps and his back seat full of tires
When we picked him up and made him spread his heels
I says, "Hands upon the wall, boy, you allowed to make one call
We just gonna have to get this situation under control
'Cause see I'm Fairweather Lewis and this here's Willard Clark
And we the Pottawattamie County rip-off patrol"

Then Orville Hinkle left the Go-Go Club on his bran' new motorcycle
Runnin' stoplights, raisin' hell and causin' accidents
His brain was doin' wheelies and his blood was three-two beer
When we nailed him in his driveway at his residence
I says, "Orville you're in trouble, boy, but if you'll blow this here baloon up
We're gonna get your situation under control
Now I'm Captain Fairweather Lewis and this here's Willard Clark
And we the Pottawattamie County juice patrol"

Then we's passin' by the Dewdrop Inn when we heard this woman scream
So we pulled on in and parked and got the guns out
Well we bashed on through the lobby into unit seventeen
There's twenty-eight folks in there near about no clothes on
An'I says, "Ev'rybody up against the wall, show us your identification
We just gonna definitely get this situation under control
'Cause my name's Fairweather Lewis and this here's Willard Clark
And we the Pottawattamie County sin patrol"

"C'mon Willard let's go sneakin' round in the dark some more
Never know what you're gonna find"