St. George And The Dragonet
Composer(s): Daws Butler - Stan Freberg - Walter Schumann
Performer(s): Stan Freberg; June Foray; Walter Schumann



Narrator: 
The legend you are about to hear is true  
Only the needle should be changed to protect the record

St. George:  
This is the countryside  
My name is St. George  
I'm a knight  
Saturday, July 10th, 8:05 p.m.  
I was working out of the castle on the night watch when a call came in from the Chief 
A dragon had been devouring maidens  
Homicide  
My job: slay him

You call me, Chief?

Chief: 
Yes, the dragon again, devouring maidens  
The King's daughter may be next

St. George: 
Mmm-hmm  
You got a lead?

Chief: 
Oh, nothing much to go on  
Say, did you take that .45 automatic into the lab to have them check on it?

St. George: 
Yeah  
You were right

Chief: 
I was right?

St. George: 
Yeah  
It was a gun

8:22 p.m.  
I talked to one of the maidens who had almost been devoured.

Could I talk to you, Ma'am?

Maiden:	
Who are you?

St. George: 
I'm St. George, Ma'am  
Homicide, Ma'am  
Want to ask you a few questions, Ma'am
I understand you were almost devoured by the dragon
Is that right, Ma'am?

Maiden:	
It was terrible  
He breathed fire on me!  
He burned me already!

St. George: 
How can I be sure of that, Ma'am?

Maiden:	
Believe me, I got it straight from the dragon's mouth

St. George: 
11:45 p.m.  
I rode over the King's Highway  
I saw a man  
Stopped to talk to him

Pardon me, Sir  
Could I talk to you for just a minute, Sir?

Knave: 
Sure, I don't mind

St. George: 
What do you do for a living?

Knave: 
I'm a knave

St. George: 
Didn't I pick you up on a 903 last year for stealing tarts?

Knave: 
Yeah  
So what?  
Do you wanna make a federal case out of it??

St. George: 
No, Sir  
We heard there was a dragon operating in this neighborhood  
We just want to know if you've seen him

Knave: 
Sure, I seen him

St. George: 
Mmm-hmm  
Could you describe him for me?

Knave: 
What's to describe?  
You see one dragon, you seen 'em all

St. George: 
Would you try to remember, Sir?  
Just for the record  
We just want to get the facts, Sir!

Knave: 
Well, he was, you know, he had orange polka dots . . . 

St. George: 
Yes, Sir

Knave: 
Purple feet, breathing fire and smoke . . . 

St. George: 
Mmm-hmm

Knave: 
And one big bloodshot eye right in the middle of his forehead and, uh, like that

St. George: 
Notice anything unusual about him?

Knave: 
No, he's just your run-of-the-mill dragon, you know

St. George: 
Mmm-hmm  
Yes, Sir  
You can go now

Knave: 
Hey, by the way, how you gonna catch him?

St. George: 
I thought you'd never ask  
A Dragonet

3:05 p.m.  
I was riding back into the courtyard to make my report to the lab  
Then it happened  
It was the dragon

Dragon:	
Hey!  
I'm the fire-breathin' Dragon!  
You must be St. George, right?

St. George: 
Yes, Sir

Dragon:	
I can see you got one of them new .45 caliber swords

St. George: 
That's about the size of it

Dragon:	
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!  
You slay me!!

St. George: 
That's what I wanted to talk to you about

Dragon:	
What do you mean?

St. George: 
I'm taking you in on a 502  
You figure it out

Dragon:	
What's the charge?

St. George: 
Devouring maidens out of season

Dragon:	
Out of season?!?  
You'll never pin that rap on me!!  
Do you hear me, cop?!?!

St. George: 
Yeah, I hear you  
I got you on a 412 too

Dragon: 
A 412!!!  
What's a 412?!?!?

St. George: 
Over-acting  
Let's go

Narrator: 
On September the 5th, the Dragon was tried and convicted  
His fire was put out and his maiden-devouring license revoked  
Maiden devouring out of season is punishable by a term of not less than 50 or more than 300 years