A Hymn To Him
((Dutch Version: Een Loflied Op Hem (Wim Sonneveld))
Composer(s): Alan Jay Lerner - Frederick Loewe
Performer(s): Rex Harrison
and multiple other artists



Women are irrational, that's all there is to that!
There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags!
They're nothing but exasperating, irritating vacillating, calculating, agitating 
Maddening and infuriating hats!

Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so honest, so thoroughly square
Eternally noble, historic'ly fair
Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat
Why can't a woman be like that?

Why does ev'ryone do what the others do?
Can't a woman learn to use her head?
Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up like their father instead?
Why can't a woman take after a man?

Men are so pleasant, so easy to please
Whenever you're with them, you're always at ease
Would you be slighted if I didn't speak for hours?
Would you be livid if I had a drink or two?
Would you be wounded if I never sent you flowers?
Why can't a woman be like you?

One man in a million may shout a bit
Now and then there's one with slight defects
One, perhaps, whose truthfulness you doubt a bit
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!

Why can't a woman behave like a man?
Men are so friendly, good natured and kind
A better companion you never will find
If I were hours late for dinner, would you bellow?
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss?
Would you complain if I took out another fellow?
Why can't a woman be like us?

Why can't a woman be more like a man?
Men are so decent, such regular chaps
Ready to help you through any mishaps
Ready to buck you up whenever you are glum
Why can't a woman be a chum?

Why is thinking something women never do?
Why is logic never even tried?
Straight'ning up their hair is all they ever do
Why don't they straighten up the mess that's inside?
Why can't a woman be more like a man?

If I were a woman who'd been to a ball
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all
Would I start weeping like a bathtub over flowing?
And carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I'm going?
Why can't a woman be like me?