At Trinity Church (I Met My Doom)
Composer(s): Fred Gilbert
Performer(s): Tom Costello



Twelve months ago with decent chances
Prospects of success in life
Thru' foolish love of ballroom dances
Trouble came..... I met my wife
Such a noble, buxom creature
She in my eyes then appeared
False she was, though fair of feature
Like to salmon I was speared

She told me her age was five and twenty
Cash in the bank of course she'd plenty
I like a lamb believed it all
I was an M - U - G
At Trinity church I met my doom
Now we live in a top back room
Up to my eyes in debt for renty
That's what she's done for me

In bridal dress with frills and flounces
'Pon my word, she did look fine
Quite sixteen stone and some odd ounces
Weighed then this dear wife of mine
People whispered she had money
Oh! what tales some folks will tell
She was simply sixteen stoney
What a swindle... what a sell

She told me her age was five and twenty
Cash in the bank of course she'd plenty
I like a lamb believed it all
I was an M - U - G
At Trinity church I met my doom
Now we live in a top back room
Up to my eyes in debt for renty
That's what she's done for me

When she confessed I'd scarce believe her
Though at last the truth she told
She hadn't got a bloomin' fiver
She was thirty-six years old
I can only grin and bear it
Poor indeed in my estate
She, poor girl, is forced to share it
Down will drop her mortal weight

She told me her age was five and twenty
Cash in the bank of course she'd plenty
I like a lamb believed it all
I was an M - U - G
At Trinity church I met my doom
Now we live in a top back room
Up to my eyes in debt for renty
That's what she's done for me