It Makes A Fellow Proud To Be A Soldier
Composer(s): Tom Lehrer
Performer(s): Tom Lehrer



The heart of every man in our platoon must swell with pride
For the nation's youth, the cream of which is marching at his side
For the fascinating rules and regulations that we share
And the quaint and curious costumes that we're called upon to wear!

Now Al joined up to do his part, defending you and me
He wants to fight and bleed and kill, and die for liberty!
With the hell of war he's come to grips
Policing up the filter tips
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!

When Pete was only in the seventh grade, he stabbed a cop!
He's real RA material, and he was glad to swop
His switch blade and his old zip gun
For a bayonet and a new M1
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!

After Johnny got through basic traing, he
Was a soldier through and through, and he was done!
Its effects were so well rooted
That the next day he saluted
A good humour man, an usher and a nun!

Now Fran's an interlectual, brings a book to every meal
He likes the deep philosophers, like Norman Winston Peel
He thinks the army's just the thing
Because he finds it broadening
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!

Now Ed flunked out of second grade and never finished school
He doesn't know a shelter half from an entrenching tool!
But he's going to be a big success
He heads his class at OCS
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!

Our old mess sergeant's taste buds had been shot off in the war
But his savoury collations add to our esprit de corps!
To think of all the marvellous ways
They're using plastics nowadays
It makes a fella proud to be a soldier!

Our lieutenant is the up and coming type
Played with soldiers as a boy you just can bet!
It is written in the stars
He will get his captains' bars
But he hasn't got enough box tops yet!

Our captain has a handicap to cope with, sad to tell
He's from Georgia and he doesn't speak the language very well!
He used to be, so rumour has
The dean of men at Alcatraz
It makes a fella proud to be
What as a kid I vowed to be
what luck to be allowed to be
A soldier!
At ease!