Life Upon The Wicked Stage
Composer(s): Oscar Hammerstein II - Jerome Kern
Performer(s): Judy Garland
and multiple other artists



Why do stage struck maidens clamor
To be actin' in the drammer?

We've heard say
You are gay
Night and day

Oh, go 'way!

We drink water from a dipper
You drink champagne from a slipper

Tho' it seems cruel to bust
All your dreams
Still I must
Here's the truth I tell you
Life upon the wicked stage
Ain't ever what a girl supposes
Stage door Johnnies aren't raging
Over you with gems and roses
When you let a feller hold your hand (which means an extra beer or sandwich)
Ev'rybody whispers: "Ain't her life a whirl?"
Though you're warned against a "roué"
Ruining your reputation
I have played around
The one night trade around
A great big nation
Wild old men who give you jewels and sables
Only live in Aesop's Fables
Life upon the wicked stage
Ain't nothin' for a girl

Though we've listened to you moan and grieve, you
Must pardon us if we do not believe you
There is no doubt
You're crazy about
Your awful stage!

I admit it's fun
To smear my face with paint
Causing ev'ryone
To think I'm what I ain't
And I like to play a demi-mondy role
With soul!
Ask the hero does he
Like the way I lure
When I play a hussy
Or a paramour
Yet when once the curtain's down
My life is pure
And how I dread it!

Life upon the wicked stage
Ain't ever what a girl supposes
Stage door Johnnies aren't raging
Over you with gems and roses

If some gentleman would talk with reason
I would cancel all next season
Life upon the wicked stage
Ain't nothin' for a girl!

You'd be back the season after!