Lumbered
Composer(s): Leslie Bricusse - Anthony Newley
Performer(s): Anthony Newley
and multiple other artists



I've been trapped, lumbered!

I have been lumbered!
I've been L-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered
But, I'm never gonna get lumbered again

I've been L-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered
And I don't L-i-k-e it one small bit
I'm too young to be a father
There are lots of things I'd rather be
Like working down a coal P-i-t pit!

When I ought to be completely unencumbered
I've been forced to buy a ring and say Amen
I've been L-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered
But, I'm never gonna get lumbered again

I've been L-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered
I'm completely C-h-o-k-e-d choked!
Bang, all my lovely visions
I've been forced to make decisions
Wish I had a quid for ev'ry fag I've smoked

When I think of all the birds with whom I've slumbered
Now I'll only ever see them now and then
At the weekends and whenever the wife's not around!
I've been L-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered
But, I'm never gonna get lumbered again

If I ever get my hands upon the idiot that wrote
"Into ev'ry life a little rain must fall"
I shall take his book of poems
And I'll stuff 'em up his ... throat
'Cause it seems to me as though I get it all!

I've been L-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered
And the idea doesn't please me very much
I was not prepared for marriage
I would catch a boat from Harwich
But I don't speak any D-u-t-c-h Dutch

Though I know it's true a bachelor's days are numbered
I think I should have the choice of saying when
I've been L-U-M-B-E-R-E-D lumbered,
But, I'm never gonna get lumbered again.

I've been L-u-m-b-e-r-e-d lumbered
It's enough to drive a fellow M-a-d!
I am scarcely past my childhood
I still play the games a child would
I'm still playing mums and dads, as you can see

When I think of all the chicks with whom I've rumba'd
For the wedding march, I'm lumbered with a hen! (Quack, quack!)
I've been quite unduly, well and truly lumbered
But, I'm never gonna get
Never gonna get, never, never
Never gonna get, never gonna get, never never
Never gonna get lumbered again!