Ten Guitars
Performer(s): Billy Connolly



I like to sing James Taylor songs, and songs by Carol King
I'll even sing John Murphy songs, I'll sing anything
But when I sing in social clubs, just one thing sickens me
a wee drunk woman staggers up, and this is what she says to me
Hey Jimmy, gonna gi' us Ten Guitars?
Her face has got a dozen battle scars
Oh, I must have sang that song in a thousand bars
Oh I'm really getting sick of Ten Guitars

Guitars were made for Rock and Roll, and no' this kind of trash
Gimme a song wi' Stephen Stills, or even Johnny Cash
But just when I start out to sing, some nice wee melody
the same wee woman donners up, and this is what she says to me

Hey Jimmy, oh c'mon, gi' us Ten Guitars
Her face has got a thousand battle scars
Oh, I must have sang that song in a thousand bars
Oh I'm really getting sick of Ten Guitars

Oh, if I could get my hands on that big balm-pot Humperdink
I'd rip his tonsils out his throat, and stuff them down the sink
Oh, I wish he'd never sang that song, or maybe something else
instead,
I'd love to take his ten Guitars, and wrap them around his head

Hey Jimmy, oh c'mon, gi' us Ten Guitars
Her face has got a million battle scars
Oh, I must have sang that song in a thousand bars
Oh I'm really getting sick of Ten Guitars

I'd love to break the strings on his Ten Guitars