Terrible Operation Blues
Performer(s): Georgia Tom Dorsey



Bring in the next patient, nurse

Get up on this table, pull off that gown
Raise up that right leg, let that left one down 
Pull off them stockings, that silk underwear 
The doctor's got to cut you, mama, don't know where
You got two or three tumors, shaped like a cube
Two or three leaks in your inner tube 
Bring on that ether, bring on that gas
The doctor's got to cut you, mama, yas, yas, yas
The doctor knows to fix it, the doctor knows just what to do

Oh doctor, can I have a glass of water?
Oh, not now
Oh doctor, I'm so sick!
Sh, be quiet, doctor ain't gonna hurt you 
Oh, what you gonna do
with that long knife?
Oh, that's just the doctor's tools
Oh doctor, what you gon' do with that saw?
Oh, we take off legs with that, that's all
Ooooh!
Be quiet, now, just a moment 
There you are, the doctor's through!
Oh doctor, what did you take out of me? 
Oh, just a minute, I'll tell you, dear

Four monkey wrenches, two horse-shay 
Pair of old britches and a bale of hay 
Your ribs were kinda loosened, they moved about
if I hadn't sewed you up, everything woulda fell out
I put in new tubes, tightened up the exhaust 
Went into your hood and cleaned your spark plugs off
Your body's kinda weak, don't be hard 
From now on you'll be careful with them there connection rods
Alright, doctor!

The doctor knows to fix it, the doctor knows just what to do
Gee, doctor, but I feel better 
That so?
Yes, I feel kinda like I wanna do a little messin' 'round
Fine, go ahead!
Ooooh, my my my my
That's the way patients do that come to this doctor, they don't die

Your body's kinda weak, don't be hard 
From now on you'll be careful with them there connection rods
Alright, doctor!
The doctor knows to fix it, the doctor knows just what to do