Ballad Of Muk Tuk Annie
Composer(s): Wilf Carter - John Klenner
Performer(s): Stompin' Tom Connors



Yeah, let me tell you the story about Muk-Tuk Annie
Who came South to go to school
With a see-through blouse and sealskin mini
Old Annie sure looked cool
She blew into Montreal in the early fall
Like nothin' they'd ever seen
With long black hair and reindeer underwear
She weighed about two-sixteen
She came a long, long way from Frobisher Bay
People, doncha know now what I mean
She had the boys all cryin' on the distant early warning line
Old Muk-Tuk Annie could really make the scene

Well she told her teacher that she wanted to dance
Said she wanted to study ballet
But she was four-foot-six with her mukluks off
And I heard her teacher say
"Now I ain't sayin' Annie that you can't dance
No, I wouldn't wanna tell you that
But I got a form here signed in triplicate
Says you gotta learn to drive a cab"
She says, "I don't wanna learn to cook or sew
Build boats or drive no cab
'Cause I came South to sing and dance
And groovy shit like that
'Cause I was Miss Baffin Island Beauty Queen
For nineteen-seventy-four
And I spent a whole weekend in Grise Fiord
With the boys beatin' down the door
She came a long, long way from Frobisher Bay
People, doncha know now what I mean
She had the boys all cryin' on the distant early warning line
Old Muk-Tuk Annie could really make the scene

Well she said, "Thank you for your trouble, Sir
But I'll make it on my own
And the word spread through the North like wildfire
"Big Annie's comin' home"
She got off o' the plane with a record player
Ballet slippers on her toes
And she opened up a little groovy club
Where ev'rybody comes and goes
She got Old Stompin' Tom on the record player
And she serves good booze and grub
And the folks around Baffin Island
Figure it's better'n any old Playboy club
You can drink tea, beer and anti-freeze
Till you fall right off o' your feet
And there's seal flippers and potato chips
When you feel like somethin' to eat
She came a long, long way from Frobisher Bay
People, doncha know now what I mean
She had the boys all cryin' on the distant early warning line
Old Muk-Tuk Annie could really make the scene

Well she packs that joint almost ev'ry night
An' folks come from miles around
And ev'ry night about ten o'clock
All the houselights are turned way down
And suddenly she's on the stage
Wearin' that toothless grin
Short fat Annie, the Goddess o' Love
And she's gonna do her Dance of Sin
Well she jumps and shouts, and huffs and puffs
And does a little bump and grind
And all she's wearin' is them ptarmigan feathers
Scotch-taped to her behind

Well she made about a hundred grand last year
Which wasn't too bad at all
And decided to take a little holiday
So she flew down to Montreal
It seems she ran into her teacher there
You know, the one that she met before
And she gave him a job tendin' the bar
And takin' tickets at her Nightclub door
She come a long, long way from Frobisher Bay
People, doncha know now what I mean
She had the boys all cryin' on the distant early warning line
Old Muk-Tuk Annie could really make the scene
Let me tell ya now, Muk-Tuk Annie could really make the scene
Let me tell ya now, Muk-Tuk Annie could really make the scene