Bantam Cock
Composer(s): Jake Thackray
Performer(s): Jake Thackray



He was a fine upstanding bantam cock
So brisk and stiff and spry
With a springy step and a jaunty plume
And a purposeful look in his eye
In his little black laughing eye there was

I took him to the coop and introduced him to
Me seventeen wild eyed hens
He upped and he tupped as a hero tups
He bowed to them all and then
He upped and he tupped 'em all again

And then upon the peace of me ducks and me geese
He rudely did intrude
With a glazed eye and open mouth
They bore him with fortitude
And a little bit of gratitude

He jumped me giggling guinea fowl
He thrust his attentions upon
Me twenty hysterical turkeys and
A visiting migrant swan
And the bantam thundered on

He ravaged me fan tailed pigeon and
Me lily white columbine
And as I was locking up me budgerigar
He jumped me parrot from behind
Who was sitting on me shoulder at the time

Then all of a sudden with a gasp and a wheeze
He clasped his wings to his head
Lay flat on the ground with his feet in the air
Me bantam cock lay dead
And the vultures circled overhead they did

What a noble bird, what a champion cock
What a way to live and to die
I was digging him a grave to save his bones
From the hungry buzzards in the sky
When the bantam opened up a sly little eye

He gave me a wink and a terrible grin
The way that rapists do
He said you see them big daft buggers up there
They'll be down in a minute or two
They'll be down in a minute or two