The Golden Rule
Composer(s): Gilbert O'Sullivan
Performer(s): Gilbert O'Sullivan



I wouldn't be glad wouldn't be sad
I wouldn't be good if I knew what I could
And I hate to go
But I must you know
Duty calls
Niagara Falls
See it go down
As it falls on the ground
And gets up again
At the count of ten
I would like everyone here to repeat after me
Something of which I know nothing about
Namely that which I will tell you
(That which I will tell you)
I'm going to school breaking a rule
I'm going around in a pitiful frown
'Cause I didn't pass (came)
Bottom of the class (Oh! what a shame)
Teacher was mad
So was me dad
Took off his belt
And without any help
Really hit me hard
Where I'd stuck a card
Thick I may be but a fool I am certainly not
Always remember the golden rule
When in no doubt get a car out
And while you're there how about...
Fetching me one of those pneumatic drills
Boy! I really love the sound that they make
So good for the pains and aches of life in general
Don't be such a miser
At the most a fiver is all you pay
Many's the time
I have wondered about what it is
I want you all to repeat after me
Something I know you know I know
Something I know you know I know 
I wouldn't behold wouldn't be cold
I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my
Dear old mum and dad
And the fun they had
Early one night
Dad put out the light
Got hold of me mum
Said he wanted a son
And as you can see
The result was me
Somebody told me once money does not grow on trees
Well if that's true then how do you explain
Apples oranges and lemons
Not forgetting melons