The Grass Is Always Greener
Composer(s): Fred Ebb - John Kander
Performer(s): Lauren Bacall & Marilyn Cooper



I`ll Bet Your Friends Are All Celebrities

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

You Can Make A Pot Roast

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

First You Brown An Onion
Is Your Picture Up At Sardi`s?

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

You Can Clean An Oven

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

First You Get The E-Z Off!
Ah, The Grass Is Always Greener
On Somebody Else`s Estate
Ah, The Meat Is Always Leaner
On Somebody Else`s Dinner Plate
But You Can Sew A Button On

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

Bet You Go To Discos

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

First You Take A Valium!
I Can See You Planning Picnics

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

Eating At The White House!

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

First They Pass The Jelly Beans
Ah, The Grass Is Always Greener
On Somebody Else`s Front Lawn
Ah, Somebody Else`s Wiener
Always Has A Lot More Relish On
You Saved The Whales In New Foundland

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

You Can Run A Household

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

First You Have A Breakdown
You`re Always In The Magazines

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

You Can Hold A Husband

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

There`s More To Life Than Husbands
I Could Use A Husband
You Can Have My Husband
I`ve Already Had Your Husband!
Ah, It Makes You Kind Of Teary
Ah, Think About It, Dearie
The Grass Is Always Greener
In Someone Else`s Yard
It`s Hard!
I`ll Bet You Always Ride In Limousines

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

You`ve Got Time For Luncheons

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

First You Sell The Tupperware
The Public Wants Your Autograph

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

You Raised A Teenaged Daughter

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

First You Find Her Diaphragm
Ah, The Grass Is Always Greener
Where Some Other Tenant Pays Rent
Ah, The Teeth Are Always Cleaner
In Somebody Else`s Polident
Do You Know Who Your Neighbors Are?

That`s Wonderul!
What`s So Wonderful?

You Know Rona Barrett

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

First You Keep Your Mouth Shut
I Bet You Squeeze The Charmin

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

You Can Make Headline

That`s Wonderful!
What`s So Wonderful?

I`d Rather Have A Pot Roast
So Go Brown An Onion
And Have Some Peace And Quiet
You`ve Already Had My Husband!
Ah, Everyone`s A Victim
Of This Ducky Little Dictum
The Grass Is Always Greener
In Somebody Else`s Yard
It`s Hard!