The Intro & The Outro
Composer(s): Vivian Stanshall
Performer(s): The Bonzo Dog Band



Hi there, nice to be with you, happy you could stick around
Like to introduce "Legs" Larry Smith, drums
And Sam Spoons, rhythm pole
And Vernon Dudley Bohay-Nowell, bass guitar
And Neil Innes, piano
Come in Rodney Slater on the saxophone
With Roger Ruskin Spear on tenor sax
Hi, Vivian Stanshall, trumpet

Big hello to big John Wayne, xylophone
And Robert Morley, guitar
Billy Butlin, spoons
And looking very relaxed, Adolf Hitler on vibes... 
Nnnnice! 

Princess Anne on sousaphone... 
Mmmm
Introducing Liberace, clarinet
With Garner "Ted" Armstrong on vocals
Lord Snooty and his pals, tap dancing
In the groove with Harold Wilson, violin
And Franklin McCormack on harmonica

Over there, Eric Clapton, ukulele...
Hi Eric!
On my left Sir Kenneth Clark, bass sax...
A great honour, sir
And specially flown in for us, a session's gorilla on vox humana
Nice to see Incredible Shrinking Man on euphonium
Drop out with Peter Scott on duck call
Hearing from you later Casanova, on horn
Yeah! Digging General de Gaulle on accordion...
Really wild, General! 
Thank you, sir
Roy Rogers on Trigger

Tune in Wild Man of Borneo on bongos
Count Basie Orchestra on triangle...
Thank you
Great to hear the Rawlinsons on trombone
Back from his recent operation, Dan Druff, harp
And representing the flower people, Quasimodo on bells 

Wonderful to hear Brainiac on banjo
We welcome Val Doonican as himself (Hullo there)
Very appealing, Max Jaffa...
Mmm, that's nice, Max!
What a team, Zebra Kid and Horace Batchelor on percussion
And a great favourite, and a wonderful performer, of all of us here
J. Arthur Rank on gong...