The Old Dope Peddler
Composer(s): Tom Lehrer
Performer(s): Tom Lehrer



You are no doubt familiar with songs about the old lamplighter 
and the old umbrella man and the old garbage collector and all 
these lovable old characters who go around spreading sweetness 
and light to their respective communities 
But, it's always seemed to me that there is one member of this happy band who does an equally splendid job 
but who has never been properly recognized in song or story
and this is an attempt to remedy, at least in part, that deplorable situation

When the shades of night are falling
Comes a fellow everyone knows
It's the old dope peddler
Spreading joy wherever he goes

Every evening you will find him
Around our neighborhood
It's the old dope peddler
Doing well by doing good

He gives the kids free samples
Because he knows full well
That today's young innocent faces
Will be tomorrow's clientele

Here's a cure for all your troubles
Here's an end to all distress
It's the old dope peddler
With his powdered happiness