Bruce's Philosophers Song
Composer(s): Eric Idle
Performer(s): Monty Python
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger, was a boozy begger
Who could drink you under the table
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel
And Wittgenstein was a boozy swine
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel
There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach yer 'bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates himself was permanently pissed
John Stuart Mill of his own free will
On half a bottle o' shandy was particularly ill
Plato they say,could stick it away
Half a crate o' whisky every day
Aristotle,Aristotle,was a bugger for the bottle
Awfully fond of his dram
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart
"I drink therefore I am"
Yes,Socrates himself is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed
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