The Scotsman
Composer(s): Mike Cross
Performer(s): Bryan Bowers
and multiple other artists



Well, a Scotsman clad in kilt left a bar one evening fair
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet
And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

Ring ding diddle iddle ay dee oh
Ring di diddly ay oh
And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

About that time two young and lovely girls just happend by
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye
"See yon sleeping Scotsman, so strong and handsome built?
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt!"

Ring ding diddle iddle ay dee oh
Ring di diddly ay oh
And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

They crept up on that sleeping Scotsman quiet as could be
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see
And there, behold, for them to view beneath his Scotish skirt
Was nothin' more than God had graced him with upon his birth

Ring ding diddle iddle ay dee oh
Ring di diddly ay oh
And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

They marvelled for a moment, then one said: "We must be gone
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along"
As a gift they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show

Ring ding diddle iddle ay dee oh
Ring di diddly ay oh
And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call, and stumbled towards the trees
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt, and gawks at what he sees
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes
"Oh, lad I don't know where ye been, but I see ye won first prize!"

Ring ding diddle iddle ay dee oh
Ring di diddly ay oh
And he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street